Home > Work > The Code of the Woosters (Jeeves, #7)
1 " I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Code of the Woosters (Jeeves, #7)
2 " I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named Robinson with rheumatism in one arm, living at Clapham. "
3 " She laughed - a bit louder than I could have wished in my frail state of health, but then she is always a woman who tends to bring plaster falling from the ceiling when amused. "
4 " I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster "
5 " The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I like the crackling logs, the shaded lights, the scent of buttered toast, the general atmosphere of leisured cosiness. "
6 " Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped. "
7 " It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was a sinister, leering, Underworld sort of animal, the kind that would spit out of the side of its mouth for twopence. "
8 " as if Nature had intended to make a gorilla, and had changed its mind at the last moment "
9 " The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone. You hear them shouting "Heil, Spode!" and you imagine it is the Voice of the People. That is where you make your bloomer. What the Voice of the People is saying is: "Look at that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher? "
10 " If I might suggest, sir—it is, of course, merely a palliative—but it has often been found in times of despondency that the assumption of formal evening dress has a stimulating effect on the morale. "
11 " But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. "
12 " You can’t fling the hands up in a passionate gesture when you are driving a car at fifty miles an hour. Otherwise, I should have done so. "
13 " She was definitely the sort of girl who puts her hands over a husband’s eyes, as he is crawling in to breakfast with a morning head, and says: ‘Guess who! "
14 " There is a fog, sir. If you will recollect, we are now in Autumn – season of mists and mellow fruitfulness. "
15 " Don’t they put aunts in Turkey in sacks and drop them in the Bosphorus?’ ‘Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts. "
16 " a chap who's supposed to stop chaps pinching things from chaps having a chap come along and pinch something from him. "
17 " I don’t mind people talking rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot. "
18 " She was standing by the barometer, which, if it had had an ounce of sense in its head, would have been pointing to 'Stormy' instead of 'Set Fair "
19 " You two fit like pork and beans. "
20 " I was as limpid as dammit. "
