Home > Author > P.G. Wodehouse
1 " The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , Very Good, Jeeves! (Jeeves, #4)
2 " Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Small Bachelor
3 " He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. "
― P.G. Wodehouse
4 " He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more. "
5 " It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Man Upstairs and Other Stories (Golf Stories, #0.5)
6 " Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous. "
7 " I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Code of the Woosters (Jeeves, #7)
8 " Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology
9 " I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest
10 " A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle. "
11 " I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose. "
12 " Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. "
13 " I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , Love Among the Chickens (Ukridge, #1)
14 " The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , The Adventures of Sally
15 " There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. "
16 " You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , Carry On, Jeeves (Jeeves, #3)
17 " In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness. "
18 " It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet. "
― P.G. Wodehouse , Joy in the Morning (Jeeves, #8)
19 " As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight. "
20 " What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them? "
