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The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves QUOTES

The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves QUOTES

1 " A lot of people, especially psychoanalysts, assume that happiness can only be found in a couple - but not all of us are made for a relationship. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

2 " we all try to silence painful emotions. but when we succeed in feeling nothing we lose the only means we have of knowing what hurts us and why. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

3 " For a minute, the fantasy frightened her, but ultimately, this fear saved her from feeling alone. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

4 " As he spoke, I had the mental image of a small boy switching on the nightlight, not because he wants to be able to find his parents during the night, but because he fears his parents will forget him - lose him - in the dark. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

5 " Being loved is the problem, because love is a demand - when you're loved, someone wants more of you. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

6 " Closure is just as delusive-it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

7 " Being present, whether with children, with friends, or even with oneself, is hard work. But isn't this attentiveness -- the feeling that someone is trying to think about us -- something we want more than praise? "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

8 " Es mejor haber perdido algo que ser ese algo que alguien olvidó. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

9 " Ante todo, las fantasías paranoides son una respuesta al sentimiento de que estamos siendo tratados con indiferencia. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

10 " En un momento u otro, todos tratamos de silenciar las emociones dolorosas. Pero cuando conseguimos no sentir nada, perdemos el único medio que tenemos de averiguar qué nos hiere, y por qué. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

11 " La negatividad -el estado mental de preferiría no hacerlo- es nuestro deseo de darle la espalda al mundo, rechazando todo tipo de necesidades y apetitos. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

12 " Al enfrentarnos al cambio dudamos, porque el cambio es pérdida. Pero si no aceptamos cierta pérdida, podemos perderlo todo. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

13 " It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to feel forgotten. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

14 " In trying so hard to be different from our parents, we're actually doing much the same thing -- doling out empty praise the way an earlier generation doled out thoughtless criticism. If we do it to avoid thinking about our child and her world, then praise, just like criticism, is ultimately expressing our indifference. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

15 " There cannot be change without loss "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

16 " All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them. But if we cannot find a way of telling our story, our story tells us- we dream these stories, we develop symptoms, or we find ourselves acting in ways we don't understand. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

17 " The future is a fantasy that shapes our present. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

18 " my breakdown was like a furnace and what was burned away was any belief in my own feelings "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

19 " I think it takes time – it took me time – to realise just how very different people are from each other. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves

20 " i knew tht we all have the capacity to act in self-destructive ways, nevertheless i had a kind of faith that the desire to live was more powerful. now, instead, i felt its fragility. peter's suicide made me feel that the battle between the forces of life and death was far more evenly pitched. "

― Stephen Grosz , The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves