Home > Work > If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood
41 " I think as a kid I depended on her, her being my mom, I don’t think I ever thought I had any other options but to live with her. As an adult I kick myself for not doing something to help myself back then. My mother could show affection and say kind words when she wanted to . . . she would abuse me, then the very next day hug me or tell me how I was her baby and she loved me blah, blah. I think it worked like any abusive relationship "
― Gregg Olsen , If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood
42 " Victims of abuse can still love the monster. This ambivalent loyalty might just be the predator’s ultimate form of damage. "
43 " Eventually fired for good, a stay-at-home Shelly brought no benefits to the new household whatsoever. She didn’t cook. She didn’t clean. All she seemed to like to do was lie around and tell everyone in earshot what they should be doing, though she was never shy about telling others what she deserved, and how they should help her get whatever she wanted. "
44 " Shelly wanted to control people. She loathed any scenario in which she wasn’t the center square. It was like their family was a cult of some kind: Nikki had escaped first, then Sami. The world outside of Raymond was a more beautiful—and happy—place than Tori had ever thought possible. "
45 " Investigators, however, understood that 10 percent of a nightmare is still a nightmare. "
46 " Three sisters. Now grown women. All live in the Pacific Northwest. The eldest, Nikki, lives in the moneyed suburbs of Seattle, in a "
47 " Shelly’s alchemy with other people’s money and Social Security numbers went on for a very long time. Some years later, when Sami tried to get an apartment, her application was rejected because she had bad credit. There was a debt of $36,000 associated with her Social Security number. It wasn’t her name on the account, however "
48 " Sami told her about the abuse that had been going on. All that she’d missed. How Tori was locked in a dog kennel and sprayed with a hose. The nudity. The withholding of food. And Ron Woodworth. “She did the same thing to Kathy, Nikki. "
49 " Enduring their mother was what bound them together. And while they might have had three different dads, they were always 100 percent sisters. Never half sisters. "
50 " Shelly never felt bad about anything. At least not when it came to other people’s feelings. The girls noticed she’d shed a torrent of tears for dead pets, but never for another person. "
51 " Enduring their mother was what bound them together. And while they might have had three different dads, they were always 100 percent sisters. Never half sisters. Their sisterhood was the one thing the Knotek girls could depend upon, and really, the only thing their mother couldn’t take away. It was what propelled them to survive. "
52 " She loved her sisters more than anything, though she also wondered why her mother saw her so differently, treated her with such hatred. "
53 " When somebody pushes, pushes, and pushes you into a corner, pretty soon you’re not going to want to be in that corner anymore. "
54 " The next morning, Shane, swollen and battered, renewed his vow to run away. He told Nikki that if she didn’t go with him, he’d go on his own. He’d had enough. "
55 " If Anna passed by, it brought Lara a shudder of relief. Only then could Lara take a breath. A very deep one. "
56 " handful. You can’t expect "
57 " It takes only the mention of a single word to take her back to the unthinkable. "
58 " Anything could be a weapon. The kids knew it. Dave too. A spatula from a kitchen drawer, a fishing pole, an electric cord. Shelly Knotek would employ all of those—and anything else within her grasp—to beat her girls if she perceived they’d done something wrong. No matter how big. Or how small. When she found a punishment that worked, she looked for ways to make it even more effective, more brutal. The act of beating her children seemed to fuel her and excite her. She seemed to savor the rush of adrenaline that came with being on the attack. “Discipline” came "
59 " She’d learned from Nikki’s experience that not rocking the boat didn’t stop bad things from happening. "
60 " a visceral reaction to a word that scrapes at her like the talons of an eagle, cutting and slicing her skin until blood runs out. "