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1 " I kiss Orion deeply, one last time. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in with me?” I ask. “I don’t think it’s going to help your case,” the raptor replies. “I mean, some people just don’t understand that love is real. You’ve gotta put yourself in there position. They’re so used to everything working a certain way, women kissing men, men kissing men… not men kissing dinosaurs.” I want to protest but I know that he’s right. Even the most liberal of juries is going to have a hard time with this muscular dinosaur sitting there in the courtroom while I argue my case. It’s better if we part ways here. “I’ll see you soon.” I tell him, my voice quaking. We both know that’s not going to happen, but we’re trying our best to pretend. “I love you,” Orion says to me one last time. “I love you, too” I assure him. We kiss again and then I finally muster up the discipline to pull away and push out through the car’s door. I stand up on the sidewalk before the courthouse as flash bulbs burst with blinding luminescence. I shield my eyes, stunned for a moment as I struggle to collect my bearings. “Mr. Tanner!” someone interjects, shoving a microphone in my face. “Is it true you hate unicorns?” “What?” I stammer. “We understand that your mission was funded off the profits of illegally traded unicorn tears, do you have anything to say to that?” “I mean…” I’m still trying to collect my bearings, struggling to sort through her words. “No, wait, yeah I do. That’s really bad, I didn’t know anything about it.” The reporter nods and repeats my words back to me. “Really bad… so you’re saying it’s not awful? Is that what you’re saying?” “No, I just…” I start. “Because it sounds like you’re not really coming out against the illegal trade of unicorn tears,” the reporter continues. “I literally heard about it five seconds ago,” I counter. “That sounds terrible, I don’t really know anything about it but it sounds really bad and I don’t support that.” The reporter nods. “Okay it’s really hard to understand you when you speak in code like this. Can you just answer the question? Do you or don’t you support bad guys doing bad things? Because you haven’t really come out against them.” “I don’t support bad guys,” I try to say as clearly as I possibly can. The reporter just stares at me blankly. “So you’re not going to come out against them?” Suddenly, someone from the mob pushes me from behind and I stumble forward. The entire gang of hungry journalists and newscasters has reached a tipping point and I realize now that if I don’t continue onward there is going to be a problem. I "
― Chuck Tingle , Space Raptor Butt Trilogy
