Home > Author > Chuck Tingle
1 " yes. i am the worlds greatest author, but guess what SO ARE YOU. very exciting news, cant wait to see what you do next "
― Chuck Tingle
2 " All of reality is owned by like five mega-corporations at this point," Gorbo explains. "
― Chuck Tingle , Not Pounded By The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of My Twitter Suspension Because It Was Reversed
3 " That’s the way I’ve always been. It’s hard for me to see any situation as a whole. I feel like I’m always looking at a mass of moving parts, trying to break every tiny piece of experience down and understand it in a methodical way. It’s beautiful but it’s also difficult to interact with people because they expect me to communicate the whole machine and I’m too distracted by the cogs. "
― Chuck Tingle , Not Pounded By The Physical Manifestation Of Someone Else's Doubt In My Place On The Autism Spectrum Because Denying Someone's Personal Journey And Identity Like That Is Incredibly Rude So No Thanks
4 " We need to find you an outlet that’s going to be healthy and sustainable.” I consider these words for a moment. “Like what?” I finally ask, coming up with nothing. “Well, you could write,” the bigfoot therapist suggests. “Something creative is a great way to let that illogical side of you come out and play.” “Knowing my hyperfocus I’d probably just end up writing hundreds of books expressing every corner of my personality in a deeply intricate catalog of feelings,” I offer with a scoff. My therapist doesn’t seem phased. "
5 " Do you find yourself unable to focus in social situations because your mind is distracted by the minutia of these interactions?” he begins. I’m too busy thinking about the way someone’s bone structure works when saying these words to actually respond to them, but my therapist takes that as a yes. "
6 " Suddenly, it all falls into place, like a missing puzzle piece finally connecting in a way that I would've never thought possible. I nearly tip backwards in my chair, and I suddenly find myself incredibly aroused. This is the mother of all conspiracy theories, the single point from which all other mysterious ideas emerge. This is much bigger than reverse reverse twins, or wireless 5G void spores, this is everything. "
― Chuck Tingle , Not Pounded By The Conspiracy Theory That I Just Shared Online Because It's Not Real
7 " If you find yourself becoming tired or delirious while reading this volume, or if youexperience fever, chills, nausea or extreme softness, stop reading immediately. These can bethe first signs of Void Madness "
― Chuck Tingle , Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To The Void
8 " If you suspect that your mind is succumbing to the call of The Void, immediately stopreading this guidebook for at least four hours. During that time, it is recommended that youfind calming things to relate to from this timeline, like a favorite show on television, or a delicious home cooked meal of spaghetti and chocolate milk. The more you can learn about your own body during this time of healing, the better. "
9 " If you suspect that your mind is succumbing to the call of The Void, immediately stop reading this guidebook for at least four hours. During that time, it is recommended that youfind calming things to relate to from this timeline, like a favorite show on television, or adelicious home cooked meal of spaghetti and chocolate milk. The more you can learn about your own body during this time of healing, the better. "
10 " If you find yourself becoming tired or delirious while reading this volume, or if you experience fever, chills, nausea or extreme softness, stop reading immediately. These can be the first signs of Void Madness "
11 " Do everything that you can to resist Void Madness. Focus on the love, joy andhappiness that can be found within yourself, no matter where you are. If you ponder thereality of The Void’s vast expanse for even one brief moment, it could have devastatingeffects on your mind, so focus instead on the present. Bring your attention to your day-todaygoals.How will you find food? What will you drink to survive? Where is there a safe place tohide?Focusing on the present will keep you from straying into Void Madness, and keep youproductive for the harsh times ahead. "
12 " Do everything that you can to resist Void Madness. Focus on the love, joy and happiness that can be found within yourself, no matter where you are. If you ponder thereality of The Void’s vast expanse for even one brief moment, it could have devastating effects on your mind, so focus instead on the present. Bring your attention to your day-todaygoals.How will you find food? What will you drink to survive? Where is there a safe place tohide?Focusing on the present will keep you from straying into Void Madness, and keep youproductive for the harsh times ahead. "
13 " Do everything that you can to resist Void Madness. Focus on the love, joy and happiness that can be found within yourself, no matter where you are. If you ponder thereality of The Void’s vast expanse for even one brief moment, it could have devastating effects on your mind, so focus instead on the present. Bring your attention to your day-todaygoals.How will you find food? What will you drink to survive? Where is there a safe place to hide?Focusing on the present will keep you from straying into Void Madness, and keep youproductive for the harsh times ahead. "
14 " Do everything that you can to resist Void Madness. Focus on the love, joy and happiness that can be found within yourself, no matter where you are. If you ponder the reality of The Void’s vast expanse for even one brief moment, it could have devastating effects on your mind, so focus instead on the present. Bring your attention to your day-to-day goals.How will you find food? What will you drink to survive? Where is there a safe place to hide?Focusing on the present will keep you from straying into Void Madness, and keep youproductive for the harsh times ahead. "
15 " if you look at history of this timeline and what has been accomplished, from crawling out of the dang swamp to flying spacebuds, it is difficult to wrap mind around how incredible libraries are. in the running for peak of human achievement and i feel this is sometimes forgotten "
16 " I'm no longer willing to bend over backwards for this unprovoked violence, no longer willing (to) take responsibility for the consequences of their rage when it invades my space and threatens my life. I will help the overwhelmed when I can, and I will live with love and mercy in my heart, but don't come at me as a screaming, rage-filled zombie and expect to be babysat. Not any longer. "
― Chuck Tingle , Straight
17 " I glance over to see a strangely familiar figure standing nearby, nodding toward me in the dim light of the evening. They appear to be a giant blue bird with a massive red circle around them, along with a diagonal line slashed across the middle."Do I know you?" I question as the strange manifestation steps forward. Suddenly, I snap my fingers with recognition."You're Tromp's Twitter ban!" I blurt. "That's where I've seen you before!"The giant bird shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. This time around I'm your Twitter ban. "
18 " THE VOID hates creation. if you ever hear call of the lonesome train with sad days ahead do not forget this direct response at your fingertips: CREATE SOMETHING. anything. even if no buds ever know. this is powerful rebuke against the vast nothing and pushes back to say I AM HERE "
19 " what makes timelines thrive is CREATION and you are part of this. your way makes ripples of creation whether you are writing song or book or making spaghetti or turning on a light. YOU ARE INFINITELY POWERFUL JUST BY BEING YOU do not forget this strength and wield it for love "
20 " It is a sad but very real truth that there is no future for relationships where spaghetti and chocolate milk does not play a major role. "
― Chuck Tingle , Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To Romance
