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21 " they thought they couldn’t, through work and fierce effort. Teaching a child to accept and even embrace struggle, rather than shy away from it, is a crucial step along the path toward instilling confidence. You are showing the child that it’s possible to make progress without being perfect. We’ve mentioned the self-esteem movement "
― , The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know
22 " Hewlett-Packard conducted a study to figure out how to get more women into top management. These numbers say it all: The authors found that the women working at H-P applied for promotions only when they believed they met 100 percent of the qualifications necessary for the job. The men were happy to apply when they thought they could meet 60 percent of the job requirements. So, essentially, women feel confident only when we are perfect. Or practically perfect. Underqualified and underprepared men don’t think twice about leaning in. Overqualified and overprepared, too many women still hold back. And the confidence gap is an additional lens through which to consider why it is women don’t lean in. Even when we are prepared to tolerate the personal disruption that comes with aiming high, even when we have plenty of ambition, we fundamentally doubt ourselves. "
23 " For years, she had a debilitating habit. She would sit on the bus on the way home from her lab creating a long list of her perceived failings. It was her mental default mode. “I could have done that better,” she would say to herself. “That wasn’t as good as it could have been. I shouldn’t have been so nervous speaking in public.” Recently, she vowed to make a change. To break this negative pattern, Petitto decided to react to it by reminding herself of three things she’d done well. Now, when the negative ruminations start, she consciously goes through her list of achievements and successes: “That was a good paper I finished,” the interior monologue might now go. “I got that lab report done quicker than I expected. I had a good conversation with my new grad student.” Such thought exercises rewire the brain and break the negative feedback loop. "
24 " Gaining confidence means getting outside your comfort zone, experiencing setbacks, and, with determination, picking yourself up again. "
25 " Confidence, at least the part that’s not in our genes, requires hard work, substantial risk, determined persistence, and sometimes bitter failure. Building it demands regular exposure to all of these things. You "
26 " In the most basic terms, what we need to do is start acting and risking and failing, and stop mumbling and apologizing and prevaricating. "
27 " success correlates more closely with confidence than it does with competence. "
28 " The Japanese word for purpose literally translates as ‘that which I wake up for. "
29 " Think Less. Take Action. Be Authentic. "
30 " Preparation and practice melded with a sense of purpose—the zone of confidence. "