101
" I had buried myself in rage since the destruction of the sojourn ship, and since the illusions between him and me fell away. Now I buried myself in wanting him instead, twisting into him, grabbing his body wherever my hands found purchase. Want me, I told him, with each clutch of my fingers. Choose me. Want me.
I leaned back for just a moment, just to look at him. The straight line of his nose, and its scattered freckles. His skin was the color of sandstone, and the powder people used to keep their skin from shining, and the envelopes my mother had used to send letters. His eyes were insistent on mine, their color exactly like a storm rolling in over Voa, carrying in them the same apprehension, like even now he was afraid I might stop. I understood. I was afraid I might stop, too. So I pressed into him again, before I could.
We stumbled together toward one of the rooms, stumbled out of our shoes. I yanked a curtain across the space exposed to the courtyard, but really, I didn’t care if anyone saw, I didn’t care if we were interrupted, I just wanted to take and take and take whatever he would give, knowing that this might be the last time I let myself. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
103
" I’ve found your weakness,” he said. “I just have to taunt you with knowledge you don’t have, and you’re distracted immediately.”
I considered that. “I guess you’re allowed to know one of my weaknesses…considering you have so many to exploit.”
He raised his eyebrows in question, and I attacked him with my fingers, jabbing his left side just under his elbow, his right side just above his hip, the tendon behind his right leg. I had learned these soft places when we were training--places he didn’t protect well enough, or that made him cringe harder than usual when struck--but I teased him now with more gentleness than I had thought myself capable of, drawing from him laughs instead of cringes.
He pulled me on top of him, holding me by the hips. A few of his fingers slipped under the waistband of my pants, and it was a kind of agony I was unfamiliar with, a kind I didn’t mind at all. I braced myself on the blanket, on either side of his head, and lowered myself slowly to kiss him.
We hadn’t kissed more than a few times, and I had never kissed anyone but him, so each time was still a discovery. This time I found the edge of teeth, skimming, and the tip of a tongue; I found the slide of a knee between mine, and the weight of a hand at the back of my neck, urging me closer, further, faster. I didn’t breathe, didn’t want to take the time, and so I ended up gasping against the side of his neck before long, making him laugh.
“I’ll take that as a good sign,” he said.
“Don’t get cocky, Kereseth. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
105
" We hadn’t kissed more than a few times, and I had never kissed anyone but him, so each time was still a discovery. This time I found the edge of teeth, skimming, and the tip of a tongue; I found the slide of a knee between mine, and the weight of a hand at the back of my neck, urging me closer, further, faster. I didn’t breathe, didn’t want to take the time, and so I ended up gasping against the side of his neck before long, making him laugh.
“I’ll take that as a good sign,” he said.
“Don’t get cocky, Kereseth.”
I couldn’t keep myself from smiling. Lazmet--and whatever questions I had about my parentage--didn’t feel as close to me now. I was safe here, floating on a ship in the middle of nowhere, with Akos Kereseth. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
106
" I was in love with him, the one who taught me how to prepare hushflower,” I said. I wasn’t sure why I was telling him this, except that he had shared some pain with me, and I wanted to do the same. The exchange of suffering didn’t have to be even--but it was a kind of currency, his sorrow for mine. A way toward trust. “He left me. No explanation.”
Zyt made an exaggerated disgusted noise in the back of his throat, and I smiled.
“What an idiot,” he said.
“Not really,” I said. “But it’s nice of you to say. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
107
" What you’re telling me,” I said, “is that if you’re going to have your head chopped off anyway, it’s at least nice to have your head on a very soft chopping block.”
“That’s…” He made a frustrated noise. “That’s the worst possible way to interpret what I said!”
“Yeah? Well, it’s my way,” I snapped. “I don’t want to be the gift someone gets when they’ve already lost. I don’t want to be a happy inevitability. I want to be chosen. I want to be wanted.”
“You think I don’t want you? Haven’t I made that clear? I still chose you over my family, Cyra, and it wasn’t because of fate!” He was mad now, practically spitting at me. Good. I wanted to fight. Fighting was something I could do, something I had trained myself to do whenever things got difficult. It was what kept me safe--not avoidance, because when had I ever been able to avoid the things that hurt me? No, it wasn’t pretending I wouldn’t get knocked down that protected me, but the knowledge that I would get back up as many times as I had to.
“How do you know?” I demanded. “It’s not saying yes if you don’t feel like you have a choice!”
“This isn’t about me, this is about your own insecurity.” He spoke fiercely, hotly, against my face. We were too close together but neither of us moved back. “You don’t think anyone could possibly want you, so therefore, I must not be able to really want you. You’re taking something good away from yourself because you don’t think you deserve it. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
108
" Everybody take this week to do what you need to get done,” Teka said. “I’ll start getting the ship ready now. I might need a new gravity compressor, and I know we need food.”
“And,” I said, thinking of what Isae had used to kill my brother, “maybe some new kitchen knives.”
Teka wrinkled her nose, likely remembering the same thing. “Definitely.”
“Anyway, we might not be coming back, so…” I shrugged. “Say your good-byes.”
“You’re just bursting with optimism, aren’t you,” Ettrek said.
“Did you expect the person leading your assassination mission to be cheerful?” I said. “If so, I think you’re in the wrong field. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
113
" This isn’t about me, this is about your own insecurity.” He spoke fiercely, hotly, against my face. We were too close together but neither of us moved back. “You don’t think anyone could possibly want you, so therefore, I must not be able to really want you. You’re taking something good away from yourself because you don’t think you deserve it.”
“It’s because no one has ever wanted me that I feel this way!” I was almost yelling. There were people milling around, and they stopped at my sudden increase in volume, but I didn’t care. He was knocking me down, again and again, every time that he didn’t say what I wanted him to say--that he chose me, that he wanted this, that he knew it, that fate was irrelevant.
All I wanted was for him to lie, and for me to believe it. But I didn’t have to be an oracle to see that of all the possible futures that existed, there wasn’t a single one where that outcome was possible. I would never believe a lie. And Akos would never tell me one.
“I am in love with you,” I said. “But for once in my life, I want someone to choose me. And you don’t. You can’t. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
114
" Do you have a name?” Cyra asked, blunt as ever. “Or should we just call you ‘Oracle’?”
“Ah, forgive my rudeness. My name is Vara,” she said. “I sometimes forget that the people I know do not know me, in turn. Is there anything I can do to make you less hostile, my dear?” She nodded to Cyra. “Or are you content to remain this way?”
A faint crease appeared in Cyra’s cheek, the way it did when she was suppressing a smile.
“Fine, I’ll sit,” she conceded. “But don’t read too much into it.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” Vara said as Cyra perched on the edge of the bench next to Akos. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
115
" I am in love with you,” I said. “But for once in my life, I want someone to choose me. And you don’t. You can’t.”
I felt the mood change, as we stepped back, Akos looking suddenly bereft, like he had had his arms full and someone had come along and taken away everything he was carrying. I felt the same way. Empty-handed.
“I can’t change the way things are,” he said. “You can’t blame me for that.”
“I know.” He was right, and that was why there was no point in arguing anymore. I had begun the conversation with a demand for honesty, but honesty didn’t need to come from him--it needed to come from me. His fate was a reality, and as long as he had his fate, he couldn’t care about me the way I needed him to. And I only knew that I needed him to because he had encouraged me to try to value myself more highly. So we were tangled in a web together, cause and effect and choice and fate all intermingling.
“So you’re going to stay here, because your fate is with me,” I said hollowly. “And I’m going to stay here, to help them figure out how to handle my father. And you and I…”
“Will be what we are,” he said. So quiet. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
119
" Kyerta,” she said, “is a revelation that causes your world to shift on its axis. It is a profound truth that, once you know it, inevitably alters your future, though it has already occurred and should, therefore, change nothing.”
She finished the braided dough, and set it aside with a sigh. Dusting off her hands, she sat down across from them and leaned into her arms.
“In your case, this kyerta comes in the form of your names,” she said. “You have lived your lives as Akos Kereseth and Cyra Noavek, when in fact, you are Akos Noavek and Cyra Kereseth.”
She sat back from the table.
Akos struggled to breathe.
Cyra let out a peal of laughter. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
120
" They say anyone who can survive this planet has a right to be here,” Teka said.
“It doesn’t look as dangerous as I was expecting,” Cyra said. “Everyone always talks about how hard it is to survive here, but it seems peaceful enough.”
“Don’t let it fool you,” Teka said. “Everything here is ready to attack or defend--the plants, the animals, even the planet itself. They can’t eat sun, so they eat each other instead--or you.”
“The plants are carnivorous?” Akos said.
“From what I know.” She shrugged. “Or they eat the current. Which probably explains why they’ve been able to survive here--if there’s anything Ogra has a lot of, it’s the current.” She smiled, with some mischief. “And as if the constant threat of being devoured wasn’t enough…well, let’s just say he’s not talking about a little Awakening shower when he says ‘storms.’”
“Cryptic, aren’t you?” Cyra said, frowning.
“Yes!” She grinned. “It’s nice to have the upper hand for once. "
― Veronica Roth , The Fates Divide (Carve the Mark, #2)
