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" My name is Logan Ryan, but everyone calls me Kash,” I said, and she laughed softly. “I was born and raised in Tampa Bay, Florida, and for almost four and a half years now I’ve worked in law enforcement. I’ll be twenty-six soon and don’t have any siblings. I’ll do just about anything for pancakes and green Sour Patch Kids.” She smiled and I stroked her jaw with my thumb. “And I will do anything to make sure I never lose you again.” “My name is Rachel Lynn Masters, I’m twenty-one, and I’m from Yorba Linda, California . . . formerly known as far West Texas.” She winked and wiggled closer to me. For a few moments she just looked at me before taking a big breath and laying the rest of it out there. “I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I know that whatever it is, I want to do it with you. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
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" And then you had to go and sing that song! Why did you pick that song?” His head jerked back slightly and his eyes lost some of their fierceness. “You’re mad about me singing the song? You love that song. You play it all the time.” I finally succeeded at freeing my wrist and crossed my arms under my chest. “And how the hell would you know that? I know I’ve never played that song in front of you!” “Seriously? You leave your windows open! We live right across from each other. I can hear it from my apartment.” Oh. “Well, that’s private. It’s for my parents. You don’t understand what it could possibly mean to me for you to sing that song to me.” Confusion crossed his face and he shook his head. “For your parents?” “Yes! And since we’re throwing the shields out, I lied to you, Kash.” “About what?” he said through gritted teeth, and called my name when I turned and dashed into my room. “Damn it, woman, stop running from me!” “I’m not running. I never told my parents about what happened to me like I promised you I would,” I mumbled as I grabbed underneath my mattress for my journal. Turning back to him, I held it up so he could see it and dropped it on the bed. “That is how I told my parents.” His eyes were narrowed again as they bounced between the journal and me. “Why?” “Why did I lie to you? Because you kept telling me I should tell them. And . . . well . . . technically, I did. I wrote it to them, so I guess I wasn’t exactly lying, because this”—I picked the journal back up—“is the only way I can talk to them.” “What are you—” “They’re gone, Kash. My parents died almost four years ago! I told you I couldn’t tell them. But I wasn’t ready for you to know why; no one in Texas other than Candice knows about it. And that’s how I like it.” Kash’s face fell and he took a few steps closer to me. “Rach . . .” “No, Kash. You didn’t want any more shields. Now there aren’t any. That song you sang tonight, my dad used to sing to my mom when they thought no one was watching. He would pull her close and dance with her in the kitchen while he did it, and it’s my favorite memory of them. So I’m sorry if I didn’t know how to react to you singing it to me, but that song means so much to me.” “Rachel, I’m sorry.” I threw my arms up and planted them on his chest so he wouldn’t come any closer. “Is this what you wanted? You know everything now. Are you happy . . . are you glad the shields are gone?” He pulled me into his arms and held me close. “I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I—I’m just sorry. For hurting you, for pushing you to tell me, for upsetting you with the song . . . all of it. I swear to you that isn’t what I wanted.” My anger was quickly fading and I blinked back tears. “I know, I just . . .” “That song is special to you. I get it, Rach.” He tipped my head back and brushed his lips across my forehead before capturing my eyes with his. “You need to know—” “Rach, I’m back!” Candice called. “Time to start this junk-food night!” Kash didn’t let me go, and I didn’t move. We continued to stare at each other, and when we heard Candice messing with the food in the kitchen, he leaned close and whispered in my ear. “You need to know that you’re special to me. I meant every single word I sang to you tonight and I will never regret that kiss. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
108
" Do you want to marry me?” “Yes.” “Do you want to have kids with me?” “Someday,” I whispered. “Do you ever miss taking your pill?” “Never.” His gray eyes turned silver and the heat in them warmed my body. “Bed. Now. We’re never using condoms again.” “Pancakes?” I argued miserably. He turned off the skillet, put the batter in the fridge, and pointed in the direction of his bedroom. “We’ll make them later. Go.” “But—” “Woman, I just found out that you’ve been on the Pill this whole time. Right now I’m struggling not to spank the hell out of you. Last time I’m going to tell you.” He leaned in close and ordered gruffly, “Bed, Rachel. Now.” Goose bumps covered my skin and a pleasant shiver made its way through my body as I turned to leave the kitchen. I’d barely made it two steps when his hand came down across my butt, which was still covered in his shirt. “Whoa!” I yelled, and covered myself with my hands as I turned to face him. “Ow! That hurt, you jerk!” I went to smack him but he caught my hand and smiled as he kissed my palm. “Don’t lie, Sour Patch, you enjoyed it. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
109
" I’m gonna be late to class if you keep that up.” “Don’t care.” I nuzzled her throat and bit softly at the smooth skin. “Give me a little bit, I’ll be ready for round two.” “You’re going to be late for inventory at the restaurant. And I don’t think I can go again, babe.” “Wimp.” “Ha! Uh, well, seeing as I woke up to one, and then you forced another one out of me right after . . . then as soon as we were done with breakfast you brought me back in here and I just had another two orgasms? No, I’m not a wimp, I’m just worn out, mister.” I smiled wolfishly up at her and kissed her lips softly, loving how swollen they were from kissing. “Good. When we’re married, I’m gonna make you stay home so I can have my way with you whenever I want.” She laughed loudly. “Really now? You’re going to make me stay home?” I grunted some form of affirmation and said teasingly, “Gonna turn you into a fifties wife. Make you wear dresses, stay home, clean and cook for me. All day, nothing but pancakes.” “You’re ridiculous. And I refuse.” “To marry me?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “To be your fifties wife. But I can’t wait to marry you. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
111
" I’m fine, Kash. You’re both being ridiculous.” “I know you are,” I said softly, and brushed her cheek. She flinched when I touched the red mark. “But you have a handprint on your face, and you’re covered in beer, and I swear to God if anyone touches or looks at you again I won’t be able to stop myself from ripping into them.” Her blue eyes softened and she momentarily leaned into my hand. “That was actually a really impressive slap. It shocked me.” A grin tugged at my mouth and I brushed a kiss over her forehead. “I could tell. I’m proud of you for not reacting though. It would’ve just caused more trouble, and since you work here, it wouldn’t have gone over well. What did you call her though?” “A two-dollar whore.” God, she was cute. “And she got mad? I think that’s a compliment for her.” “Right?” Rachel pushed at my stomach. “Go back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Sleep well, Sour Patch.” Rachel "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
112
" I swear to God, it’s like I don’t know you these last few months! First you accuse my cousin of rape, then you meet and get engaged to a guy that you just met, and now you’re saying my cousin is breaking into our apartment when he doesn’t even know where we live? Classy, Rach. You’ve turned into a real bitch.” I bent forward and exhaled roughly, as if she’d actually punched me. “Candice.” “And you know what pisses me off more? The fact that throughout all of this, all of this lying to me, all of this acting like you’re so in love with Kash and like you’re some fucking victim . . . you’re still dating Blake!” “Whoa, what?! I—no! Where did you hear that?” “He hates that you treat him like crap at school and that you’re hiding your relationship with him. He showed me all of your texts to him.” I shook my head furiously and attempted to swallow past the dryness in my throat. “I haven’t texted him since our dates at the end of last school year, Candice, I swear to you.” “I’m so done with this, Rachel. I’ve been waiting for you to just come clean to me, but for whatever reason, our friendship doesn’t mean anything to you anymore. But if you’re actually going to go through with this marriage to Kash, at least be respectful to my cousin and break it off with him. Nicely.” “Our friendship doesn’t mean anything to me?! You’re the one who won’t believe me and you’re the only family I have left!” She snorted and whirled around with her hand on the door. “And another thing. I’d love to know how you’ve been going between school, work, Kash, and Blake without Kash or me noticing. Share your secrets sometime, it could really come in handy for me, seeing as I’m the slut and all.” The door to her bedroom slammed shut and I stood there unmoving, just staring as I tried to comprehend what the hell had just happened. How had this happened? How had he not only hurt me but hurt my relationship with Candice as well? I hated Blake West with every fiber of my being, and I hated what he’d done to my life. When "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
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" I was less than a row away when he grabbed my arm and dug his fingers right into a pressure point. “I would love to know why my cousin is beginning to question me.” “Let go of me or I’ll scream.” “Scream and I’ll kill someone you love.” I turned to finally look up at Blake’s cold blue eyes. “W-what did you say?” “Exactly what you thought you heard. Now, let’s go.” I dug my feet into the ground and tried to walk toward my car. “No! Let me go.” “For shit’s sake, Rachel,” he growled, and leaned close so it looked like we were hugging, “don’t be difficult or I’ll make good on my promise.” From the tone of his voice, I had no doubt he would. “Please, just let me go home, how did you even know I was here?” Blake blew out an annoyed breath and dug his fingers into the pressure point harder before walking us toward his car. “Candice called me this morning screaming at me. Demanding to know what I did that would make you go drop all of your classes today. I was already on campus, so I’ve just been waiting for you.” Wait. Does that mean she believed me? Hope and an ache for the friendship Candice and I had always had blossomed in my chest but was quickly replaced by fear when Blake put me in his car and lifted his shirt just enough to show me the gun holstered to his hip. “Run, Rachel. I dare you.” M "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
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" Tell me what’s going on with us, what you’re wanting, because I—Rachel, if we do this . . . I’m all in. I want all of you . . . need all of you. I won’t do what Candice and Mason are doing. If that’s what you want, I’m sorry, but I can’t give that to you.” A huge smile spread across my face. “Logan,” I whispered, and loved the way his gray eyes turned to molten silver when I used his first name like this. Taking the hand that was holding my cheek, I placed it on my chest and just sat there staring at him for a while. “No one has ever made me feel like my heart is flying away but still holding me to this earth. No one has ever made me feel so at peace and crazy with one look. No one has ever made me feel so in love and terrified at the same time. No one until you.” I kissed his shocked face and rested my forehead against his, our eyes locked on each other. “Trust me when I say, I’m completely yours.” “You love me.” It wasn’t a question, but I nodded my head anyway. “I want to hear you say it.” “I love you, Logan,” I whispered, and had barely gotten his name out when his mouth was on mine and he was lowering my body onto the bed. “Rachel, I can’t begin to explain how in love with you I am. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
