21
" When the door opened, Blake was standing at the side of my bed looking down at me. The light brush of his fingers over my throat and his solid glare were clearly a warning. But I was still on the verge of fainting, now from trying too roughly to inhale. Candice said good-bye to whomever she’d been talking to as she shut the door. “Oh, hey, cuz! I didn’t mean to—” Blake turned to look at her and Candice’s eyes went wide when she saw me. “Oh my God, Rachel, are you okay?!” She rushed over to me, but Blake touched her arm and pulled her away. “She was attacked by a couple guys outside Starbucks tonight. She called me about half an hour ago. She’s in shock but she’ll be okay.” “What?!” Candice screamed, and tears instantly filled her eyes. What? No. No, no, no. My head shook back and forth as I choked on a sob and my breathing got even faster and heavier. I tried to tell her that was wrong, that he was lying, but all that came out was the ragged sound of my breathing. I could see Candice and Blake’s mouths moving, but I couldn’t hear anything else. Everything tilted to the side and the blackness came back full force. I reached out for Candice but missed her arm as the dark claimed me. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
22
" Those guys didn’t hurt you too bad, did they, Rach? They didn’t—they didn’t . . .” “No. Candice. No. Blake—” “I know, Rach. Blake took such good care of you last night, he was so sweet to you.” No! A sob broke free and the tears poured down my cheeks as I tried to tell her how wrong she was. “No. Blake—my car—he . . . he did something and I—I thought I was going crazy!” “It’s okay, sweetie. He took me to pick up your Jeep from Starbucks a few hours ago. It’s in the parking lot.” “W-what?” “Aww, Rach. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you last night. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe that happened to you. I’m so thankful Blake was there for you.” A bone-deep shudder rocked my body and I tried to pull back from her; she wasn’t understanding! “You’re not listening! Blake’s the one who attacked me!” “Rachel! Why the hell would you say something like that?!” “Because he did! Before you came back!” She pushed away from my bed and faced me with a cold glare. “How dare you accuse my family of something like that! I know you had a rough night, Rachel, and I’m sorry! But you can’t just pin it on Blake. I can’t—” She huffed loudly. “I can’t believe you would do something like this. Why do you hate him so much? If you don’t want to date him, then fine, but don’t blame him for something like that. God, I feel like I don’t even know you.” My "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
23
" My head was shaking a no when Candice tried to hand me the phone, and she eventually just shoved it into my palm. I just stood there staring at the front of it in horror. Candice huffed and forced my hand so the phone was pressed to my ear and went to sit back at her desk. “Y-you—” “Took care of you,” he said, cutting me off. “I have a witness.” “No,” I whispered, and glanced up at Candice. “Who’s going to believe anything you say, Rachel? My own cousin and your best friend saw me taking care of you after you’d been attacked. She saw me hold you after you fainted. She watched me vow I would never let anyone touch you again as you slept. And trust me when I say, Rachel, I will never let anyone else touch what is mine. And you. Are. Mine.” Who was this man? Where was the Blake I’d grown up with? My heartbeat felt like it stuttered and I sat there in silence as I thought through every different outcome of telling people about what had happened last night. When I didn’t say anything for a while, Blake spoke again. “Did you just realize that I’d come out the hero no matter what?” “Stay away from me,” I said shakily, and took a deep breath in as I tried to put some strength behind my words as I repeated them: “Stay away from me, Blake.” I "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
26
" I’m in love with Rachel. There is no doubting that. And while I have a strong sense that she feels something similar, she isn’t ready for anything yet. What happened after our kiss is proof. At first, I wasn’t ready for a relationship since I was keeping too much from her, but that wouldn’t stop me now. I wanted her to be mine; I was just afraid of pushing her again. As much as I hated not being in control of this, I needed to let her make the decisions. Things had been different since the night I sang to her; something had changed. She was still a bitch and loved throwing her attitude at me, but I didn’t want her any other way. Rachel was easily the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, and that was what had originally caught my attention, but her attitude was what hooked me. In an attempt to give her the time she needed, I had gone back to being exactly like I always was with her. As if there had never been a kiss, as if I’d never sung for her and told her what she meant to me. The last couple weeks though, through the bickering and friends-only relationship, there had been a charge between us. Well, more than usual, anyway. It was constant, and it didn’t make things awkward; it was almost as if it just made us both more aware of each other physically at all times. And I’m not gonna lie. I. Fucking. Loved it. The way she gasped softly whenever I would brush against her, how her arms would be covered in goose bumps when I pulled away from kissing the top of her head, and how she always seemed to shift closer to me without even realizing it. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
27
" You what?” When I didn’t respond, he tilted my head back and searched my eyes. “What, Rach? You can tell me.” Wishing I’d kept my mouth shut, I smiled softly and internally cringed, hoping I wouldn’t ruin this night. “I was afraid I’d end up breaking down during. I was afraid he would find a way to ruin this for me.” “Did—” “No!” I cut him off quickly and tightened my hold on his waist. “No, everything with you is just—it’s perfect.” I shrugged and hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes. “It was just you; I felt safe and cherished, like I always do with you.” He kissed me softly. “I do cherish you. I love you, Rachel.” My chest warmed as I whispered my love for him back. He held me close and I was almost asleep when he said softly, “You begin school again soon. He’ll be there, and I—I don’t know how to protect you if I don’t know who he is.” “It doesn’t matter. He won’t do anything at school, and you wouldn’t be able to protect me from him anyway. You can’t go to my classes with me. It just—it doesn’t matter. He won’t bother me there.” “I wish you would tell me.” “Why, Kash? So you can have a name? It won’t change anything.” He opened his mouth but then shut it and breathed heavily through his nose. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked again. I don’t want this between us right now. I just want you.” I kissed his jaw and silently cursed myself for saying anything. Relaxing into his embrace and the pillows, I tried to go over every second that I’d just shared with Kash and attempted to push thoughts of Blake away. After a few minutes of my internal battling, Kash began humming “Fall into Me” by Brantley Gilbert and I felt my body fully relax into him. I hadn’t even realized I’d tensed up again. His lips brushed across my cheek and he broke off humming to whisper in my ear, “Sleep, Rach. I’ll keep you safe.” When he continued, he wasn’t humming anymore; he was whispering the words, and my heart swelled. Sleep came quickly in Kash’s arms as he softly sang to me. If I hadn’t been sure before, I was now. I wanted to spend forever with this man. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
28
" It’s a safe bet we’ll have an audience, since the cousin saw me walk in here. When we leave, you will have your arm around me and you will lean into me. You won’t look scared or upset, and if anyone approaches you, you won’t say anything. Understand, Rachel?” I sighed in defeat, and my head shook once before he grabbed my chin roughly. It was already sore from the numerous times he’d done it that morning, and I knew I would have bruises there soon. “Unless you want another show like you got this morning”—he paused and smiled when I inhaled audibly—“you will tell me you understand and you will make this look believable.” Blake kissed me deceptively softly and murmured against my lips, “Go on, sweetheart; say it again. I know you’re thinking it. I’m a monster.” He kissed me again once, then brushed his lips across mine, his grip on my chin never loosening. “But like I said, we’ll work on your feelings. Now, do as I said.” I "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
29
" What the fuck did you do to her? She hates you, she’s terrified of you! What did you do to her?” Blake didn’t stop walking me, and in an effort to not turn and look back at the man I loved, I dropped my gaze down and a shaky sigh left me. “Rachel, what does he have on you? I know you, you wouldn’t just choose this.” “If he doesn’t shut up soon, I’ll make sure he is shut up,” Blake whispered, and continued to walk. “I will find out,” Kash said in a low growl. “And if you hurt her, so help me God, Blake West, I will end. Your. Life.” “Rachel,” Blake said, warning me. I turned, and though it killed me, I looked up at Kash’s murderous expression. “Lo—” Clearing my throat, I tried again. “Logan, don’t you see? I lied to you.” “Babe—” “I’m sorry this isn’t what you want—” “Not what I want? Rachel, he’s been stalking you!” I shook my head and Blake’s grip on my shoulder got painful. “He wasn’t,” I whispered, “I’ve been seeing Blake for months, Logan. I never stopped seeing him.” He opened his mouth again and I shook my head quickly. “Just stop. Kash, please understand . . . please,” I begged. I needed to cut this relationship now. Give him a clean break. But part of me couldn’t stand to see him hurt. Couldn’t stand knowing he thought I’d really left him for Blake. My eyes pleaded with him to understand what was happening, and when his head shook at my last sentence, Blake’s grip tightened even more and he swung us back around toward the cars. “You’re done talking,” Blake said, and led me to my car. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
32
" Please,” I finally managed to say, “please call them off. Don’t do this. They’re your family, Blake! I’ll do anything, I swear.” Turning in his arms to face him, I pleaded with my eyes. “I’ve already proved that!” Gripping my chin roughly in his fingers, he leaned over until his face was directly in front of mine. “You’re right. You will do anything. But you’ve already ruined a lot, Rachel. We need to rectify that . . . first.” “First? I don’t—what?” “Yes, first. Before we move on to the next . . . step.” His blue eyes took on some weird form of heat that I couldn’t name. “Well, didn’t I do that by telling Logan I’d lied about you? By having him watch us leave together and telling Candice I was spending the weekend with you?” “You’re oddly eager to get to that next step, sweetheart.” He smiled, and the arm around my waist tightened. “If it’ll get you to leave all of them alone, then I’ll do whatever it takes to get to that step!” “I’m counting on that,” he whispered, and crushed his lips to mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth and growling when he didn’t get the reaction he was looking for. “We’ll work on that. Until you’re convincing enough to fool me, this”—he pointed at the various screens—“is how it’ll be.” Blake started to unwrap his arms, so I grabbed the back of his neck and brought our mouths back together. I tried to picture Kash as our lips moved against each other and I sucked on his bottom lip. But this wasn’t Kash. Even if there had been a lip ring, or if Blake had been chewing the cinnamon gum that Kash always did, I wouldn’t have been able to make myself believe this was the man I was in love with. A sob ripped from me and my arms fell limply to my sides. Blake moved his lips to my neck and made a trail to my ear. “While I appreciated that, like I said, we’ll work on it. Now, go get ready for bed, I’ll be back in a minute.” My body went rigid and he laughed soft and low. “I won’t touch you tonight. Now that I have you where I want you, I need you to realize you’re in love with me. Scaring you wouldn’t help with that right now.” “You are scaring me!” My hand shot out toward the screens. “This—this is terrifying! Everyone I care about is in danger. You blew up George’s car, for shit’s sake! Does it not bother you at all that you’re related to them?” “For the last damn time, sweetheart,” he sneered, “nothing will happen to them if you do what I say. And the faster you realize you’re mine and you acknowledge and embrace your true feelings for me, the faster my men leave them alone.” “You can’t just force someone to fall in love with you, Blake.” He huffed. “I’m not. You are in love with me. You’re just being difficult. Get ready for bed. "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
35
" What the— Oh hell no. Candice! Open the door!” She pounded her hand against the door. “Candice Marie Jenkins! I am in my pajamas and do not have my purse, cell phone, or keys. Open the damn door! I hear you two laughing!” If I hadn’t been so pissed off at Mason for sending Rachel over here and for her agreeing to it, I’d have been laughing too. “I swear, if you do not unlock this door and let me in, I will go Cali bitch on your asses!” Okay, now I was laughing. The door next to ours opened and a middle-aged man looked between Rachel and me. He had his cell in his hand like he couldn’t decide if he was going to call the cops or not. “I will cut you!” Rachel swore and continued beating on the door; my neighbor looked at his phone and I groaned. Pushing away from the wall, I took the few steps over to Rachel, grabbed around her waist, and pulled her back with me. “Let me go, Kash. Candice! Open the door!” “Calm down, you’re freaking the neighbors out.” “I don’t care! I do not want to be locked out of my apartment so I’m forced to spend time with you! You’re rude, did you know that?” I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I’m rude? If you hate me so much, you should have never agreed to come ‘help’ me.” I nodded and gave a reassuring smile to the now-confused-looking neighbor before walking us into my apartment and releasing her. “Excuse me for trying to be nice! That’s what people do, they help people, especially when they’re new to the— Holy crap, where’s all your stuff? "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
36
" What the— Oh hell no. Candice! Open the door!” She pounded her hand against the door. “Candice Marie Jenkins! I am in my pajamas and do not have my purse, cell phone, or keys. Open the damn door! I hear you two laughing!” If I hadn’t been so pissed off at Mason for sending Rachel over here and for her agreeing to it, I’d have been laughing too. “I swear, if you do not unlock this door and let me in, I will go Cali bitch on your asses!” Okay, now I was laughing. The door next to ours opened and a middle-aged man looked between Rachel and me. He had his cell in his hand like he couldn’t decide if he was going to call the cops or not. “I will cut you!” Rachel swore and continued beating on the door; my neighbor looked at his phone and I groaned. Pushing away from the wall, I took the few steps over to Rachel, grabbed around her waist, and pulled her back with me. “Let me go, Kash. Candice! Open the door!” “Calm down, you’re freaking the neighbors out.” “I don’t care! I do not want to be locked out of my apartment so I’m forced to spend time with you! You’re rude, did you know that?” I couldn’t help but laugh at her. “I’m rude? If you hate me so much, you should have never agreed to come ‘help’ me.” I nodded and gave a reassuring smile to the now-confused-looking neighbor before walking us into my apartment and releasing her. “Excuse me for trying to be nice! That’s what people do, they help people, especially when they’re new to the— Holy crap, where’s all your stuff?” She looked around at our living room, which was mostly bare save for the two boxes Mason brought. “We—” “Is this what Mason was talking about? He said I’d know it when I saw it.” Wait. What? “What are you talking about?” “Mason said you needed me for something in here. I asked him what that something was, and he said as soon as I walked into the apartment I’d see what you needed help with.” Fuck. Me. “Oh shit, Rachel. Um . . .” “When is all your furniture coming?” She began walking around the place and her eyes got bigger with each empty room she came across. “Did you guys sleep in here last night?” “Uh, yeah. Good news? Floor is actually pretty comfortable. So there’s that.” “Bad news?” “We don’t have anything coming, we need to go buy new stuff.” I took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. “And I’m starting to think that’s what Mason was sending you over here for.” She "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
39
" Uh—so would you like to go furniture shopping with me?” I scratched the back of my neck nervously and she narrowed her beautiful eyes at me. “No! I would not like to go furniture shopping with you, Kash. Did you already forget just telling me that you didn’t need anything from me?” “I—that was a misunderstanding. I thought you . . . that Mason . . . it doesn’t matter. Like I said, misunderstanding. If you don’t want to come with me, that’s fine. You can hang out here, but obviously, you’d just be sitting on the floor.” “What misunderstanding? What did you think was happening?” I groaned and grabbed the keys out of my pocket. “Forget it, Rachel.” “No, I deserve to know why you were so rude when I was offering to help you!” I flung my arm out to the side and practically growled at her, “I thought he sent you over here to fuck me, and I thought you agreed to it!” Instead of laughing at me, like I’d have expected any normal person to do, her stubborn expression fell, and all color drained from her face. Her mouth fell open and she quickly shut it, licking her lips as she forcibly swallowed. “I d-don’t want . . . I don’t want to have sex with you,” she whispered, and backed up until she hit the wall. “Okay, Rachel, that’s fine.” I spoke like I was talking to a scared victim. What was going on with her? “That’s good to know, I don’t want to have sex with you either, that’s why I was an asshole earlier.” That was a lie. I’d even freakin’ dreamed about this girl last night and woken with a painful hard-on I had to take care of in the shower, all the while Rachel flashing through my mind. And I’d lied to Mason earlier. Rachel wasn’t a bitch, though she’d definitely shown her bitchy side at our first meeting and before we got to the restaurant last night. But it didn’t take more than a handful of minutes watching her to realize it was her shield. It was her way of protecting herself. What she was hiding, I had no idea, and apparently it’d been obvious I was trying to figure it out last night. But there was something, and for some reason, I wanted to find out what it was and be whatever shield she needed. And that was dangerous. I "
― Molly McAdams , Forgiving Lies (Forgiving Lies, #1)
