Home > Work > Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
1 " The way women are made to conform to this double standard is through the deprivation of sexual self knowledge. Deprived of their own bodies, they have no way of discovering or developing sexual responses. Had an early age, women are prohibited from touching their genitals with the threat of supernatural or real punishment. Information about the clitoris and life affirming orgasm is withheld, and women are installed with the idea that female genitals are inferior, that a woman’s main value lies in procreation and giving a man sexual pleasure. Without any sexual pleasure of her own, I woman may come to think of her genitals as being repulsive and a constant source of discomfort and shame. This kind of sexual repression is a vital aspect of keeping women in their ‘proper role’. "
― Betty Dodson , Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
2 " Masturbation is the ongoing love affair that each of us has with ourselves throughout our lifetime. "
3 " The most consistent sex will be your love affair with yourself. "
4 " Antes estaba convencida de que la masturbación llevaba al sexo, pero ahora sé que la masturbación es sexo. La próxima vez que alguien te pregunte ‘¿Cuándo tuvo su primera experiencia sexual?’, debería responder que su primer contacto con el sexo fue la masturbación. "
5 " Many feminists have a serious blind spot. We’re ready to criticize patriarchy, and men’s misuse of power in a flash, but we ignore our own abuses of power. We see matriarchal control as gentle and kind, but the role of wife and mother can be just as authoritarian as a marine drill sergeant. We seldom acknowledge the power that women have over children and we almost never speak about wives who dominate their husbands. In many homes, the authoritarian mother is a force to be reckoned with. Her rigid standards of sexual morality and her righteous indignation when her rules are broken make her a formidable adversary who is unbending, unyielding, and sometimes even violent. "
6 " For me, there is no such thing as “feminist fantasies” or “feminist sex.” Women’s sexual liberation is not about defining what constitutes politically correct sex; it’s about exploring and increasing our erotic joy and pleasure. "
7 " We have been so brainwashed by romantic love that when I talk about the importance of couples continuing to masturbate alone, and learning to share masturbation together, some assume I’m against “regular sex.” Not true. I’m all for any sexual activity that makes both partners happy. What I don’t support is “compulsive intercourse” as the only way to be sexual. Instead of assuming the word sex means a penis inside a vagina, we need to realize that there are an infinite number of ways to express our sexuality. "
8 " Aunque venga de un amante, una bañera, un osito de peluche, un dedo, una lengua o un vibrador, un orgasmo es un orgasmo. "
9 " Sex energy and creative energy are parts of the same life force that draws us to it like the warmth of a summer sun or the light of a full moon. Everyone I’ve ever spoken to intimately has told me how important masturbation is to their creative process. Taking an orgasm break can work in different ways: it can bring my energy level up when it lags, it can relax me when I get too tense, or it can clear away the mental cobwebs so I can solve the creative problem at hand. For the most part, I use orgasm breaks to set me up for another round of creativity with a renewed burst of energy. "
10 " If you already know all the answers, you can't ask questions. "
11 " Masturbation is a way for all of us to learn about sexual response. It’s an opportunity for us to explore our bodies and minds for all those sexual secrets we’ve been taught to hide, even from ourselves. What better way to learn about pleasure and being sexually creative? We don’t have to perform or meet anyone else’s standards, to satisfy the needs of a partner, or to fear criticism or rejection for failure. Sexual skills are like any other skills; they’re not magically inherited, they have to be learned. "
12 " Join me in validating masturbation as a primary form of sexual expression. "
13 " We need to speak out against all the religious bigots who demand that the entire population have monogamous marital sex for procreation only. We also need to confront the anti-porn feminists who are intent on preserving their romantic illusions by demanding that their lovers and all the rest of mankind be monogamous, including no more beating off with Playboy and Penthouse. "
14 " All my years of childhood and marital masturbation were about not getting caught. I’d trained myself to come fast while remaining silent. When I was with a lover, I avoided heavy breathing, barely moved my body, and never broke out in a sweat. In order to have “ladylike orgasms,” I always held back because, basically, I was embarrassed about sex. All my fear and embarrassment gradually disappeared after I made a decision to embrace sexuality "
15 " Having an orgasm with a new fantasy is every bit as good as having sex with a new lover. Some times it’s even hotter. People can be so unpredictable, but I can always count on myself. "
16 " Since most of us struggle with periods of self-hatred, bad body images, shame and confusion over sex and pleasure, I recommend having a hot love affair with yourself. Sexual healing begins by learning how to turn yourself on, discovering your sexual fantasies, and giving yourself an abundance of selflove and orgasms. "
17 " Remember, the best news of this decade is that we can have all the sex we want on our own terms with someone we love who will never abandon us once we embrace selfloving. Here’s wishing you many happy orgasms. "
18 " Somehow men were supposed to have gained enough sexual expertise to teach women about sex. But having to project a masculine image at all times kept them from learning. If you already know all the answers, you can’t ask questions. "