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1 " I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me. "
― S.J. Watson , Before I Go to Sleep
2 " I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd fought for you. I was weak and stupid. "
3 " With him everything is a test, affection is measured, that given weighed against that which has been received, and the balance, more often than not, disappointing him. "
4 " We’re constantly changing facts, rewriting history to make things easier, to make them fit in with our preferred version of events. We do it automatically. We invent memories. Without thinking. If we tell ourselves something happened often enough we start to believe it, and then we can actually remember it. "
5 " I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless. I didn't feel ashamed. "
6 " Thoughts race, as if, in a mind devoid of memory, each idea has too much space to grow and move, to collide with others in a shower of sparks before spinning off into its own distance. "
7 " There are memories I am better off without. Things better lost forever. "
8 " What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories? "
9 " It's so difficult, isn't it? To see what's going on when you're in the absolute middle of something? It's only with hindsight we can see things for what they are. "
10 " Get busy achieving all the things in life you want to achieve", she said, "because one day you'll be fine and the next..." I knew what she meant: Boom! My ambitions would disappear and all I would want to do would be to have children. "It's what happened to me," she said. "It'll happen to you. It happens to everyone. "
11 " Do you trust me?The question is usually asked before an admission that such trust is misplaced. "
12 " I cannot imagine how I will cope when I discover that my life is behind me, has already happened, and I have nothing to show for it. No treasure house of collection, no wealth of experience, no accumulated wisdom to pass on. What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories? "
13 " I am an adult, but a damaged one. "
14 " I will never abandon you. I love you too much. "
15 " I have no choice but to face whatever my reality has become. "
16 " It’s perfectly possible to hold two opposing points of view in the mind at once, oscillating between them. "
17 " This is dying everyday. Over and over. "
18 " It’s not life, it’s just an existence, jumping from one moment to the next with no idea of the past, and no plan for the future. "
19 " I closed my eyes and he kissed my eyelids, barely brushing them with his lips. I felt safe, at home. I felt as if here, against his body, was the only place in which I belonged. The only place I had ever wanted to be. We lay in silence for a while, holding each other, our skin merging, our breathing synchronized. I felt as if silence might allow the moment to last for ever, which would still not be enough. "
20 " I could think of nothing, nothing to say, nothing to feel. My mind was empty. "