Home > Work > Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters
1 " you'll kill our blood baby but you won't have sex with me "
― , Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters
2 " frosting emergencies are just as real as other kinds of emergencies "
3 " I do not have any of even the littlest hard feelings all of my feelings about you are just so soft and so normal just normal soft feelings that you’re going to love "
4 " what is a dream but a series of lies designed to keep us immobilized in a dark room for hours at a time "
5 " -I WOULD BREATHE FOR YOU MY JANEJANE WHERE HAVE YOU GONEI AM BEREFT WITHOUT MY JANEI SHALL SINK INTO ROGUERY-i am with my cousins-WHICH COUSINIS IT THE SEXY ONE-Please don't try to talk to me again-IS IT YOUR SEXY COUSIN"ST. JOHN"WHAT KIND OF NAME IS ST. JOHN-I'm not going to answer that-I KNEW ITDID YOU LEAVE BECAUSE OF MY ATTIC WIFEIS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT-yesAbsolutely-BECAUSE MY HOUSE IN FRANCE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AN ATTICIF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUTIT HAS A CELLAR THOUGH SO YOU KNOWDON'T CROSS MEHAHA I'M ONLY JOKING "
6 " when I die I wish to be buried in that Shawl I wish to be buried — in ten Thousand Shawls – you’re not dying you’re just afraid of the stairs "
7 " hang all mysteries the only mystery I want to solve is how much cocaine I can fit in my face the mystery of how much face cocaine I can have that’s the mystery for me "
8 " i’m going to kidnap your daughter someday and i won’t let your nephew learn how to read because of how much i love you and scream at your grave and i’ll rent your room out to some guy from London "
9 " why did you turn my friends into pigs i don’t know maybe the real question is why are your friends so turn-into-pigsable "
10 " -I taught you Hindi and everythingThat's basically the same as getting engaged for missionaries-And I really appreciate thatIt will be terribly useful in my career as an English governess-See?ThatThere.that is exactly the kind of tone I meanOne round of cholera in the tropics would sear that sarcasm right out of you-guess I really missed out-Guess so "
11 " what will you do if you go home?i dunnostuff grows out of the ground if you put stuff in itso maybe ill do thatfarming?yeahgo home and put stuff in the ground and no one will take the girls i likeand i hope you all die in this stupid waryou don't mean thatyou don't mean your facewhat?leave me alone "
12 " haha must have been a weird typo it’s illegal to hunt men but exhilarating "
13 " this publisher guyis asking me about my favorite canto in Child Haroldethat’s like asking someone to pick who’s hotterhis half-sister or his cousinsit’s literally impossible "
14 " first of all she’s not my girlfriend second of all denmark is a PRISON "
15 " maybe the real question is why are your friends so turn-into-pigsable "
16 " well A of all youre being condecending.what did I say?it wasn't what you said it was HOW you said itand B of all I quit war foreversothat's when I'm coming backwhen I un-forever quit war, which is never, so never "
17 " what is thisname remembering day "
18 " One round of cholera in the tropics would searthat sarcasm right out of you "
19 " you’re damn right it’d be something caves of ice and ancestral war voices prophesying about damsels and sacred rivers screaming beware and your hair would float and ugh hang on two seconds there’s a guy here "
20 " You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget "
