161
" Why have you brought me here?” My voice shook. I couldn’t stop staring at the Night Bazaar. There it was. And here I was. Standing on the same plot of land shared with beings that--until now--had only existed in stories. “What do you want from me?”
He stopped. The smile was gone from his lips.
“I want your perspective and honesty,” he said, before adding in a softer voice, “I want to be humbled by you.”
Heat flared in my cheeks. I paused, the stick in my hand falling a fraction. Perspective and honesty? Humbled by me? Rajas never asked for anything other than sons from their consorts.
“My kingdom needs a queen,” he said. “It needs someone with fury in her heart and shadows in her smile. It needs someone restless and clever. It needs you.”
“You know nothing about me.”
“I know your soul. Everything else is an ornament.”
His voice wrapped around me, lustrous and dark. It was the kind of voice that could soothe you to sleep in the same moment that it slit your throat. Still, I leaned toward it.
“Come with me,” he said. “You would never be content in that world. They would cage you. They would give you playthings of silver and silk.”
His teeth burned white when he smiled. “I could give you whole worlds. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
162
" I raised my chin and stared back at him. I had no reason to feel embarrassed. After all, he was the one who said Akaran was just as much mine as it was his. The door had been open. And yet, a flush still crept up the back of my neck.
“I was taking a walk,” I said weakly.
“Where’s Gupta?”
“The dining room,” I said before adding defensively, “I only walked a little down the halls.”
His jaw tightened. “I told you that the kingdom’s location makes it dangerous.”
“Gupta told me that anyplace that might hold danger would be locked up,” I retorted. “The door to this room was not locked.”
“Even so,” said Amar. “They might sing through their bindings. It’s better to have an escort.”
“As you can see, I am unscathed from my walk from one hall to the next.”
“Today,” cut in Amar tightly. “Today you are unscathed. Tomorrow is unknown. As is the next day and the day after that. Never make light of your life.”
“I never do.”
The vial of mandrake poison flashed in my mind. Life led me here. Life and the desire to live it.
Gupta burst into the room.
“Oh, good!” he breathed, hands pushing against his knees. He looked like he’d just run from one side of a country to the next. Guilt heated my face. He turned to Amar. “I apologize. I lost track with the riddles.”
“You can leave, my friend,” said Amar. “She is safe with me.”
Gupta looked between us, started to say something and thought better of it. There was a touch of pity in his expression as he looked at the winking lights around us. With one last glance at the garden, Gupta left.
Amar loosed a breath. “I understand, you know.”
I looked up.
“The forced silence…the voices of this palace. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
164
" Amar loosed a breath. “I understand, you know.”
I looked up.
“The forced silence…the voices of this palace.”
We stood there, not saying anything. I felt too aware of the space between us. Even with Akaran’s secrets spiraling in the shadows of my head, I couldn’t ignore the weightless feeling that had gripped me. Standing beside Amar did something to me. Like my center had shifted to make room for him.
“You do not trust me, do you?”
“No,” I said. I had no reason to lie. “I told you in the Night Bazaar that trust is won in actions and time. Not words.”
“I wish you trusted me.”
“I don’t place my faith in wishes,” I said. “How can I? I can’t even--”
I bit back the rest of my words. I can’t even see your face. Perhaps Gupta was lying and he really did have a disfiguring scar. Amar moved closer until we were only a hand space apart.
“What?” he coaxed, his voice hovering between a growl and a question.
“I can’t even see your face.”
A strange chill still curled off of him like smoke and even though the glass garden was teeming with little lights, shades veiled him.
“Is that what you want?” he said. “Would it make you trust me?”
“It would be a start.”
“You are impossible to please.”
I said nothing. Amar leaned forward, and I felt the silken trails of his hood brush across my neck. My breath constricted. “Is that what you want? An unguarded gaze can spill a thousand secrets.”
“I would know them anyway,” I said evenly. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
166
" I can’t even see your face.”
A strange chill still curled off of him like smoke and even though the glass garden was teeming with little lights, shades veiled him.
“Is that what you want?” he said. “Would it make you trust me?”
“It would be a start.”
“You are impossible to please.”
I said nothing. Amar leaned forward, and I felt the silken trails of his hood brush across my neck. My breath constricted. “Is that what you want? An unguarded gaze can spill a thousand secrets.”
“I would know them anyway,” I said evenly.
I waited for him to dissuade me, but when he remained silent, I reached out. Amar stood still, lean muscles tensed beneath his clothes. I could hear his breathing, see his chest rising and falling, smell that particular scent of mint and smoke that hung around him. Slowly, I untied the ends of the dove-gray hood. Small pearls snagged against the silk of his covering.
Suddenly, his hands reached around my wrist.
“I trust you,” he said.
The hood fell to the ground, a mere rustle of silk against glass. I lifted my gaze, searching Amar’s face. He was young, and yet there was something worn about his features.
I took in the stern line of his nose and the smooth expanse of tawny skin. His features possessed a lethal kind of elegance, like a predator at rest--bronzed jaw tapering to a knife’s point, lips curled in the faintest of grins and heavy brows casting dusky shadows over his eyes.
When I looked at him, something stirred inside me. It felt like recognition sifted through dreams; like the moment before waking--when sleep blurred the true world, when beasts with sharp teeth and beautiful, winged things flew along the edges of your mind.
Amar met my gaze and his eyes were raw. Burning.
“Well?” he asked. There was no rebuke in his voice, only curiosity.
“I see no secrets in your gaze,” I said. I see only night and smoke, dreams and glass, embers and wings. And I would not have you any other way. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
167
" I can’t even see your face.”
A strange chill still curled off of him like smoke and even though the glass garden was teeming with little lights, shades veiled him.
“Is that what you want?” he said. “Would it make you trust me?”
“It would be a start.”
“You are impossible to please.”
I said nothing. Amar leaned forward, and I felt the silken trails of his hood brush across my neck. My breath constricted. “Is that what you want? An unguarded gaze can spill a thousand secrets.”
“I would know them anyway,” I said evenly.
I waited for him to dissuade me, but when he remained silent, I reached out. Amar stood still, lean muscles tensed beneath his clothes. I could hear his breathing, see his chest rising and falling, smell that particular scent of mint and smoke that hung around him. Slowly, I untied the ends of the dove-gray hood. Small pearls snagged against the silk of his covering.
Suddenly, his hands reached around my wrist.
“I trust you,” he said. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
169
" When I looked at him, something stirred inside me. It felt like recognition sifted through dreams; like the moment before waking--when sleep blurred the true world, when beasts with sharp teeth and beautiful, winged things flew along the edges of your mind.
Amar met my gaze and his eyes were raw. Burning.
“Well?” he asked. There was no rebuke in his voice, only curiosity.
“I see no secrets in your gaze,” I said. I see only night and smoke, dreams and glass, embers and wings. And I would not have you any other way.
“You have made your request, what about mine?”
“I am not the one withholding secrets.”
He smiled and I stared at him for a moment. When he smiled, his severe face softened into something beautiful. I wanted to see it again.
“On the contrary, I am the one who has no choice. You, on the other hand, do.”
“What do you want from me?”
He reached out, fingers sliding across the length of my hair.
“Some strands of your hair.”
Some of the courtiers in Bharata used to tie their wives’ hair around their wrists when they traveled. It was a sign of love and faith. To remain connected to the person you love, even if it was just by a circlet of hair.
“May I?” asked Amar.
I nodded. With a small knife, Amar deftly clipped a number of strands. Quickly, he twirled them into a bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist. There was another bracelet on his hand that I had not noticed until now. A simple strap of black leather tied into an elegant knot.
“Thank you for this,” he said, pulling his sleeve over the other strap.
“It’s nothing,” I said, trying for lightness.
“And yet I would trade everything for it,” he said. There was no tease in his voice. Nothing but a strange straightforwardness, like he’d never said anything more honest in his entire life.
“Then you must be relieved I gave it willingly.”
“Astounded,” he murmured, still tracing the circlet. He looked at me and something light fluttered in my stomach. “Not relieved. Relief is when you want something to stop. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
170
" You have made your request, what about mine?”
“I am not the one withholding secrets.”
He smiled and I stared at him for a moment. When he smiled, his severe face softened into something beautiful. I wanted to see it again.
“On the contrary, I am the one who has no choice. You, on the other hand, do.”
“What do you want from me?”
He reached out, fingers sliding across the length of my hair.
“Some strands of your hair.”
Some of the courtiers in Bharata used to tie their wives’ hair around their wrists when they traveled. It was a sign of love and faith. To remain connected to the person you love, even if it was just by a circlet of hair.
“May I?” asked Amar.
I nodded. With a small knife, Amar deftly clipped a number of strands. Quickly, he twirled them into a bracelet and slipped it onto his wrist. There was another bracelet on his hand that I had not noticed until now. A simple strap of black leather tied into an elegant knot.
“Thank you for this,” he said, pulling his sleeve over the other strap.
“It’s nothing,” I said, trying for lightness.
“And yet I would trade everything for it,” he said. There was no tease in his voice. Nothing but a strange straightforwardness, like he’d never said anything more honest in his entire life. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
172
" On the day of the agni pariksha, light transfixed Amar’s face.
“I have every faith in you, my love,” he said, trailing fingers along my jaw. “This will put an end to every rumor. This will keep you safe from them. I know our days have been cold, but after this, we will be as we once were.”
Inside, my heart snarled, but I kept my face blank. “I will not disappoint.”
All the members of the Otherworld assembled for my trial. I wore white, the dress of mourning. In the Night Bazaar, a dim glow lit up the faces of the attendees, clinging to well-oiled horns and scaled skin. Leonine rakshasa waited patiently, weapons quivering in their grip. If I failed, they were free to depose me. If I succeeded, they would end their bloodshed in the human realms.
Sacred flames lapped up from the ground. Ribbons of fire snaked out like tongues and grasping hands. I looked to Amar. His face was stern. Hopeful. For what outcome, I thought I knew. But I was wrong. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
173
" In the distance, I could see Skanda sitting on a pavilion wreathed in lotus blossoms and flanked with serving girls. He was, as I had guessed, fat. And in his golden jacket, he indeed looked like a toad.
“Ah, I remember him,” muttered Kamala.
“He’s my half-brother.”
“Nasty, nasty.”
“I know.”
“Would you like me to eat him?”
“Definitely not,” I said, a little too quickly. I patted Kamala’s neck. “But I appreciate your offer. It was almost nice.”
“It is nice to be nice,” said Kamala with a sage nod. “And it is also nice to eat people,” she added as an afterthought. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
175
" The door creaked open and there he was.
“My star-touched queen,” he said. “I missed you.”
He walked toward me. In the candle-lit glow of our bedroom, every feature was more pronounced. The sweep of his shoulders, the short hair that curled at his neck. The glow of his skin, honey-drenched and russet. My beautiful nightmare.
I caught his hand in mine, my fingers trailing over the band of leather around his wrist. The noose. Against my skin, the noose was a cold pulse. There was a small knot at its base, lazily tied. He probably hadn’t expected it was in any danger.
“We lost an entire day together,” he said.
I loosened the silk around my waist and Amar raised an eyebrow. Around him, the shadows rippled silkily. I met his gaze and he stared at me, his breath shallow and waiting. The silk fell noiselessly to the floor.
“We still have the night. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
178
" Even with his eyes concealed, I sensed Amar’s gaze. “What world do you belong to? Theirs?” I pointed at an Otherworldly being sharpening his horns.
“No. My kingdom is neither among humans nor Otherworldly beings. It is between.”
“Why did you come to Bharata?” I asked. “The invitation to my swayamvara was issued only to the nations we’re at war with.”
“Everyone is at war with my nation,” he said with a smile.
“How did you even know about me?”
“Akaran has its eyes and ears.”
He could have been lying. Nothing escaped me from the rafters where I had spied for years. But my father had other meetings…and he was not always in Bharata.
I hesitated. “How can I trust someone who won’t even reveal their face?”
“It’s far too easy to be recognized here.”
He drew the cloak closer and the gesture was so final, so closed off and unwelcoming, that I stepped back, chastened. Amar removed the wedding garland from around his neck. From the sleeves of his jacket, he withdrew a small knife. Before I could react, he swiped the knife across his palm. Small beads of blood welled to the surface. He held his palm out to me like a perverse offering.
“I make this bond to you in blood, not flowers,” he said. “Come with me and you shall be an empress with the moon for your throne and constellations to wear in your hair. Come with me and I promise you that we will always be equals.”
My mouth went dry. A blood oath was no trifling undertaking. Vassals swore it to lords, priests to the gods. But husbands to wives? Unthinkable. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
179
" The moment he touched me, my universe constricted to the space between our lips. We were a snarl of limbs and bright-burning kisses. Amar held me to him, strong hands burning against my neck and waist. And even though vengeance thrummed in my skin, a part of me drowned in the feel of him. He murmured my name with each kiss until it no longer seemed to belong to me. It was a song, a prayer, a plea.
But when I pulled him to the bed, he paused. His breathing was ragged and when he looked at me his eyes were damp with desire.
“Wait, my queen,” he breathed. “I want you to know me first. I want you to know this place where you are empress.”
He rubbed his thumb along my jaw and the braceleted noose around his wrist glared. Disbelief coiled sharply in my throat. I already knew about this realm. I already knew who he was. But I almost forgot when he reached out to trace my lips.
“Any farther,” he started, his voice hoarse with want, “and I would not know how to stop. "
― Roshani Chokshi , The Star-Touched Queen (The Star-Touched Queen, #1)
