Home > Work > No Hope for Gomez!
41 " I’d mistakenly shown myself to be the kind of guy (test subject) who stood out in her garden wondering about her underwear. "
― Graham Parke , No Hope for Gomez!
42 " standing in front of a building, then not meeting up with a woman, but instead following her home at a distance, that’d make me look like I was on a really awkward date. "
43 " Wondered about the experimental drugs interacting with airborne chemicals and leaving me unexpectedly dead. "
44 " Want to pick up that check, honey? And I’d say; Nope, why don’t you pick up that check and add another fifty bucks while you’re at it, as I ruined a perfectly good pair of pants on your behalf. "
45 " made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. "
46 " If that’s the case, then maybe you should be looking at people who wanted him dead, not people who needed him to scoop up monkey poo. "
47 " Joseph Miller had allowed the Universe to reduce him to being someone’s Tuesday afternoon monkey-poop scooper. "
48 " So, this guy entered my store, browsed my crap in his suit, sandals, and stickered sombrero, and completely broke my concentration. "
49 " have you seen Driving Miss Daisy, The Last Stand? "
50 " may not be perfect, but I’m certainly strange. "
51 " Effectively feeling himself dry out and expire over a period of days. "
52 " Read an article about a group of mathematicians who developed a financial model to accurately compare apples and oranges. I was stunned. Never thought I’d see the day. Preliminary indications are that the model allows any two kinds of fruit to be compared, although guava still causes minor rounding errors. Further testing is ongoing. -- Gomez Porter, blogspace entry "
53 " When I tried to give my half-eaten ice cream to another child, I ran into the first problem of the day. "
54 " Didn’t fall asleep. Spent the better part of the night listening to Warren drill holes in my floor. "
55 " At precisely 4:22 a.m. I awoke to the sound of hamsters being stir-fried in a large enameled wok. "
56 " He politely introduced himself as Warren Baxter and told me he was about to turn in, he just had one more batch of gophers to stir-fry in his enameled wok. "
57 " he’s still dead, but he died this morning rather than last night.” She held up her hand with a small amount of space between her thumb and index finger. “You missed him by that much. "
58 " Went shopping for 500 piece puzzles. "
59 " Women! Who knew how their minds worked? "