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This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1) QUOTES

This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1) QUOTES

1 " I am so sad. I am so sad it makes me heavier than the sum of my parts. I shift, restless, but it doesn’t help. It’s like—time. All this time in here is on me, has its hooks in me. Maybe if I sleep more, I’ll wake up and I’ll feel different, but I can’t. The storm is really happening now and it makes the room feel emptier. Makes me feel emptier. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

2 " I wish I could break this window. Step through it. But I can't break this window. I can't even find some less dramatic way to die inside of this school, like hanging myself or slitting my wrists, because what would they do with my body? It might put everyone at risk. I won't let myself do that.

I'm not selfish like Lily.

I hate her. I hate her so much my heart tries to crawl out of my throat but it gets stuck there and beats crazily in the too narrow space. I bring my hands to my neck and try to massage it back down. I pres so heard against the skin, my eyes sting, and then I'm hurrying back down the stairs, back to the first floor. I think of Trace running laps, something he can control. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

3 " I’m sorry,” he tells me.

I sit down on the bed. He returns to the view of the street below. I follow his gaze and I see the infected walking slowly back and forth.

“It’s okay,” I say.

“Okay,” he says. He nods. “Good.”
He puts the gun under his chin and pulls the trigger. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

4 " I will see my father in every anger. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

5 " I remember how covered in blood Rhys was. All over his shirt, his jeans, caked on his neck, his hands. I didn't even think about it then, but it must have belonged to his mother, father. For seven days, he wore their deaths and he never said a word to any of us about it. I feel so bad for him and I don't know how to tell him, so I reach for his hand and hold it as hard as I can, crushing his fingers in mine. It's a futile attempt to redirect his pain. He lets me hurt him for a few minutes before gently pulling away. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

6 " I wouldn't have left you like that. Not like she did to me." I swallow hard. "She always said I'd die without her and she left anyway."

"But you didn't die," He says.

"I did," I say. "I'm just waiting for the rest of me to catch up. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

7 " I woke up and the last piece of my heart disappeared. I opened my eyes and I felt it go. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

8 " The thing no one tells you about surviving, about the mere act of holding out, is how many hours are nothing because nothing happens. They also don’t tell you about how you can share your deepest secrets with someone, kiss them, and the next hour it’s like there’s nothing between you because not everything can mean something all the time or you’d be crushed under the weight of it. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

9 " Maybe the only way our story can end is varying degrees of sad. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

10 " I've been variations of hurt my whole life. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

11 " Waiting around to be saved is like waiting to die and I have done more of both than anyone else in the room. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

12 " I think there’s nothing left for me. I don’t think that for everyone else.”

“So what do they have that you don’t at this point?”

I press my lips together. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I don’t want to talk about how everyone has something even if they don’t really have it anymore, that what they had makes them strong enough for this, to keep going. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

13 " I am so sad it makes me heavier than the sum of my parts. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

14 " We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner to the soundtrack of our own impending death. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

15 " I don't know how I'm going to do this, move through the hours like someone who wants to still be breathing when I had so firmly made up my mind to stop. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

16 " If life was fair, you wouldn't be here. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

17 " This is not a test. Listen closely. This is not a test."
But I think she's wrong. I think this is a test.
It has to be. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

18 " Sometimes you catch something specific like the screams and cries of people trying to hold on to each other before they're swallowed into other, bigger noises.
This is what it sound like when the world ends. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

19 " Is this what it's like to get close to other people--you do something insane together and then you have to share everything even if you don't really want to? "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)

20 " This must be what Dorothy felt like, I think. Maybe. If Dorothy was six scared teenagers and Oz was hell. "

― Courtney Summers , This is Not a Test (This is Not a Test, #1)