1
" This book is a work of fiction that was given to a pirate after it was retrieved from the future by exotically beautiful Eastern European girls. Then diabolical Eastern European scientists worked tirelessly to ensure that every name, character, place, and incident in the world which, even remotely, resembled one within the book was "erased." (How? Ninjas.) If any similarity still exists, it's purely accidental (and suggests you live in an alternate dimension). Any lingering resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living, dead, or undead, is entirely coincidental and highly unlikely. "
― , Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)
9
" I'm Guy Boy Man, which, I admit, is pretty weird, because I'm not Asian, or a series of keywords to search for gay porn, or heterosexual porn, I guess, if you're a chick and you're into porn and if you are, let me just say, that's awesome. "
― , Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)
11
" In Eastern Europe, we are suspicious of the 'h' and the 'j.' The 'h,' when it is small, looks like a chair. Is it an electric chair? We don't know. Is it a regular chair sitting on a trap door? Again, we don't know. When it's big, the 'H' is always dangerous. If you pass under it, maybe the bar will fall on you. If you go over it, possibly the bar will shoot up when you're halfway across. And the 'j,' whether big or small, is always a hook. In Eastern Europe, we don't get caught. "
― , Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)
