Home > Work > This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)
101 " She was a hippie. I could tell, even dressed in a red prisoner jumpsuit. She had some haphazard braids in her hair, and that dopey trusting look in her eyes, like she was seeing the goodness of your soul at a glance. "
― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)
102 " My feet had never been so bare. Those little naked toes.That spider thing probably looks at those like the ears on a chocolate bunny. "
103 " It was a shriek, like microphone feedback. But more organic and pained, like the sound a whale would make if it were on fire. "
104 " save your love for the things that can love you back. "
105 " There was a faded brown stain on the carpet and I wondered if a patient had once taken a shit in here in the middle of a session. I "
106 " And don’t put a bunch of bullshit in my mouth, or get cute and try to make me look stupid. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the salon to have my pubic hair straightened and dyed white so that my dick looks like Santa Claus.” He closed the door, farting loudly all the way to his car. I went "
107 " I would have waited outside if I’d known, since the potential for really awkward conversation seems pretty high in the waiting room of a psychiatrist’s office. "
108 " To the men in the RV, Josh said, “Regulators, mount up. "
109 " ...,you bunch of greedy fartsouls. "
110 " I’m not crazy,” I said, crazily, to my court-appointed therapist. He seemed bored with our session. That actually made me want to act crazy, to impress him. Maybe that was his tactic. I thought, maybe I should tell him I’m the only person on Earth who has seen his entire skeleton. Or, I could make something up instead. "
111 " Well, Amy figured you don’t need more than five minutes on this planet to figure out that one thing we know about God—maybe the only thing—is that he favors those who act. "
112 " Anyway, it's two in the morning and we're taking turns pissing off of the tower (rather than going at the same time, because we weren't raised by wolves). So it's my turn and I'm right at that transcendent moment when the long stream of urine connects me and the ground below... "
113 " The horizon was shitting a sun, casting a glow on a layer of fog that was settling in the low areas like puddles of ghost piss. "
114 " The channel got switched to Fox News and a panel of experts was desperately trying to fill airtime by finding ways to rephrase the nothing that they knew, over and over again. "
115 " We didn’t do any of it on purpose. We’re just … not very good at things. "
116 " He buckled his seat belt, which he always did because he never knew when he would need to ramp something. He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night. "
117 " The air in the store was charged with panic—that bottled-up, impotent panic of a crowd that doesn’t know how to act on it. Should they riot? Loot the place? Burn it down? Should they stampede out of there? To where? Cinnabon? "
118 " I woke up in my bathroom, startled. I had nodded off while pooping. Long goddamned day. "
119 " John glanced around, half expecting to see a disheveled Dave pulling himself up from some spot on the floor. He'd be squinting, his hair matted down, looking like he'd just been shit out of a dinosaur. "
120 " Somewhere, Charles Darwin nodded and smiled a knowing smile. "