This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2) QUOTES

61 " All right, but you know Star Trek, and ‘Beam me up, Scotty’? How they can teleport people around?” “Yeah. The transporters.” “Do you know how they work?” “Just … special effects. CGI or whatever they used.” “No, I mean within the universe of the show. They work by breaking down your molecules, zapping you over a beam, and putting you back together on the other end.” “Sure.” “That is what scares me. I can’t watch it. I find it too disturbing.” I shrugged. “I don’t get it.” “Well, think about it. Your body is just made of a few different types of atoms. Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and so on. So this transporter machine, there is no reason in the world to break down all of those atoms and then send those specific atoms thousands of miles away. One oxygen atom is the same as another, so what it does is send the blueprint for your body across the beam. Then it reassembles you at the destination, out of whatever atoms it has nearby. So if there is carbon and hydrogen at the planet you’re beaming down to, it’ll just put you together out of what it has on hand, because you get the exact same result.” “Sure. “So it’s more like sending a fax than mailing a letter. Only the transporter is a fax machine that shreds the original. Your original body, along with your brain, gets vaporized. Which means what comes out the other end isn’t you. It’s an exact copy that the machine made, of a man who is now dead, his atoms floating freely around the interior of the ship. Only within the universe of the show, nobody knows this. “Meanwhile, you are dead. Dead for eternity. All of your memories and emotions and personality end, right there, on that platform, forever. Your wife and children and friends will never see you again. What they will see is this unnatural photocopy of you that emerged from the other end. And in fact, since transporter technology is used routinely, all of the people you see on that ship are copies of copies of copies of long-dead, vaporized crew members. And no one ever figures it out. They all continue to blithely step into this machine that kills one hundred percent of the people who use it, but nobody realizes it because each time, it spits out a perfect replacement for the victim at the other end.” I "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

62 " Trust me, we need it. Or rather, we need it to not wind up in the hands of somebody else. Oh, wait! Damn it!” “What?” “It just occurred to me that I could have written Dave a message on a wall using my own shit! "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

63 " I’ve developed a pretty good survival system involving nothing more than mental alertness exercises, positive thinking and amphetamines. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

64 " I felt a strange sense of calm and realized what I was feeling was the release of responsibility. Nobody expected me to be at work the next day. Nobody was trying to call me. I had no e-mail to check. Ghost enthusiasts weren’t stalking me on Facebook. Our responsibilities were stripped down to the bare biological basics: thirst, hunger, cold. All at once I could see why lifelong convicts got to where they couldn’t function outside of prison walls. You’re almost functioning more at a level for which the human brain was intended. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

65 " I’m a productive citizen. Well, not productive, I mean if you add up what I bring to society and what I take out, society probably breaks even. And I’m not crazy. I mean, I know anybody can say that. But a crazy person can’t fake sane, right? "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

66 " Anyway, it’s two in the morning and we’re taking turns pissing off of the tower (rather than going at the same time, because we weren’t raised by wolves). "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

67 " That is how the human brain works, when it looks at a formless cloud, it tries to see a shape, or a face, or otherwise associate it with something that makes sense in some known cultural context, like the proverbial image of the Virgin Mary seen in the grain of a tree stump, or a slice of toast. But make no mistake—the observer supplies the face. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

68 " I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

69 " When they write the sequel to the Bible, that shit is definitely gonna be in there. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

70 " John, possessing a genetic defect that makes him walk toward danger, strode down toward where it looked like some cops were trying to set up a perimeter around the chaos. Somewhere, Charles Darwin nodded and smiled a knowing smile. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

71 " From the backseat of the pick-up stepped Dr. Marconi. I tried to imagine the conversation the three of them had on the way over, and my brain just spat out error messages. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

72 " The bathroom was clean. Well, not clean, but there were no corpses in there. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

73 " Of course, it is likely enough, my friends, that we are going to our doom: the last march of the Ents. But if we stayed at home and did nothing, doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

74 " It would make me feel bad.” Tennet nodded and checked something off of his clipboard. “Now let’s say that he was not infected, but was sent to quarantine with hundreds of people who are, and that their infection has dissolved the part of their brain capable of making moral decisions. And let’s say that they overpowered David, restrained him, defecated into his mouth and taped his mouth shut with duct tape, and left him there to writhe and slowly swallow feces all week, how would that make you feel? "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

75 " Let’s just say it’s magic.”
“Let’s just say that I need a little more explanation than that if I’m going to go along with this.”
John sighed.
“Okay, have you heard of nanotechnology?”
“Yeah. Microscopic robots, right?”
“Right, and imagine they can make millions of these robots and embed them in a liquid, so that you now have a liquid infused with the power of all these machines. Got it?”
“All right.”
“Now imagine if, instead of tiny robots, it’s magic. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

76 " My hair looked like I had combed it with an angry cat. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

77 " It took a full week to find her way in. In that time she was chased by some of the same-clothes people, and other dogs, and was almost hit by cars more times than she could remember. But she made it, inside the big building full of terrible smells—layers upon layers of ancient sickness and slow death. Now she was curled up next to Meatsmell and it wasn’t raining on them and everything was back the way it was supposed to be. She fell into a deep sleep, inside this huge building full of anxious and tired people, many of whom she noticed were not really people. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

78 " And you seen enough horror movies to know the black dude don’t ever make it to the end.” “We all appreciate your sacrifice, TJ.” “Fuck you.” He laughed. So did I. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

79 " We simplify tens of millions of individuals down into simplistic stereotypes, so that they hold the space of only one individual in our limited available memory slots. And here is the key—those who lie outside the circle are not human. We lack the capacity to recognize them as such. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)

80 " It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One could make the argument that Plasmodium falciparum is the dominant life form on the planet, and that human civilization exists purely to give it a breeding ground. "

― David Wong , This Book Is Full of Spiders (John Dies at the End, #2)