Home > Work > Comedy Sex God

Comedy Sex God QUOTES

Comedy Sex God QUOTES

1 " It took me over three decades to realize you're not supposed to think about paintings, flowers, or God, you're supposed to merge with them. "

― , Comedy Sex God

2 " Now, God isn’t something I believe in—it’s something I feel all of us soaking in. "

― , Comedy Sex God

3 " My literal belief in the Bible wasn’t saving me, showing me the light, or setting me free. It was causing me pain. "

― , Comedy Sex God

4 " The strangest thing about becoming an atheist was how little things changed. With no divine rules or threat of eternal punishment hanging over my head, I still somehow managed to not lie, cheat, steal, or kill anybody. Although to be honest, I was a little confused as to why we weren't lying, cheating, or stealing. Not killing people still made sense, but why, for example, should we not steal some peanut butter crackers from the unmanned mini-mart in this Holiday Inn? "

― , Comedy Sex God

5 " When I grew up in the church, once or twice a year one of the women in our choir would sing a song that really tore the house down called “I Am Not Ashamed.” This was an emotional song for everybody in the room. Our chins would quiver, and we’d close our eyes and put our hands in the air, really feeling it. But looking back, I think what made that song so overpowering to me was that I was ashamed. And I don’t think I was the only one. That’s why we had that song! You don’t have to sing “I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ” if you’re really not ashamed. No one has ever sang “I am not ashamed of ice cream.” There’s no need. "

― , Comedy Sex God

6 " THERE WERE LAUGHS, TOO. One night, after playing a college in Orlando, as I found myself sitting on the floor, full of a cheap red blend and organic tobacco smoke in a hotel room so sparse and lonely that even Bukowski would’ve been like, “They should get a fern in here or something,” my pity party was strangely and hilariously interrupted. Turned out, my hotel was right next to Disney World. And turned out, Disney World has fireworks every night. Gorgeous, sensational fireworks. Imagine a man, drunk and alone, trying to get a good cry going, slurring along to Adam Duritz playing out of an iPhone speaker, as every joyful color bounces and pops, splashing into the night sky as a barely visible Tinker Bell zips lines to and from the Magic Kingdom, literally granting wishes to the hope-filled children below, all of them audibly cheering and gasping with delight as I lie on the floor motionless, like a pair of sad pants kicked off and waiting for laundry day. I had to laugh. There I was, Depressed Guy, being depressed as gigantic speakers blasted over the cracking fireworks, You can fly! You can fly! You can flyyyy! "

― , Comedy Sex God

7 " There I was, talking about God, even quoting the Bible, hitting the ball back and forth with a great mind. It wasn’t awkward, or gross. It was joyful, and fun. And for the first time: I wasn’t fucking ashamed. "

― , Comedy Sex God

8 " I was always drowning in my own humanity, forever a spectator to the love and oneness I had heard stories about, like I had been sent away from the party for wearing the wrong clothes. But in this moment, I realized no one had the authority to send me away. There was no doorman. I was the doorman. Hell, I was the party. "

― , Comedy Sex God

9 " I know it sounds strange, but I look back on my depression fondly. So much anxiety in my life comes from not knowing what to do or how to behave, but everyone knows how to be sad. "

― , Comedy Sex God

10 " Sad people don't really know what to do to make not-sad people more comfortable around them. "

― , Comedy Sex God

11 " I felt far more Christlike when I stopped calling myself a Christian. "

― , Comedy Sex God

12 " Epicurus—“Why should I fear death? When I am, death is not. When death is, I am not”—and say things like, “Where were you during the Renaissance?” That’s the nothing. The nothing that you were during the Renaissance. I so enjoyed the steam release from my brain that came from accepting the idea that when you die, you go back to that nothing. And being nothing is nothing new. You were nothing far longer than you were Steve, or Cheryl, or Jordan. Infinitely longer, in fact, an uncountable nothing. And it didn’t hurt and you didn’t mind. You just weren’t, and there was no part of you there to panic about it. "

― , Comedy Sex God