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1 " Forty-five minutes and many pairs of kids' pyjamas, handballs and packets of coloured pencils later, I have had to swap my basket for a trolley, but when I get through the self-checkout and find out the total is forty-seven dollars, I'm so horrified by the low price that I abandon it all. That was a pricing mistake they made there. They made it so low it alarmed me and reminded me what a lot of mass-produced tat it was, and how it was possibly made my small exploited children in the third world. If the total had been seventy dollars I probably would have bought the lot. "
― , How to Be Second Best
2 " You won't get rid of him that easily. Troy will live a long and annoying life. People like him always do. "
3 " Before I go to bed, I clear a safe access path from the front door to the bedrooms. I'm not going to put everything away, because it will all be out again tomorrow, but this is my concession to good housekeeping: to make sure we can get out without breaking our necks if there's a fire. "
4 " It's your funeral. Which will happen sooner than it needs to, because I read that married people live longer than single people.' 'That's not true,' I reply. 'It just feels longer. "
5 " Lola is a sociopath in a children's book and TV series, sister of Charlie, one of the great long-suffering brothers of literature. "
6 " I should have a slogan: Emma Baker - she's what happens when you you're busy making other plans. "
7 " I should have a slogan: Emma Baker - she's what happens when you're busy making other plans. "
8 " Discarding possessions in his wake, Tim just drifts along happily through life. My dad calls him deciduous, and Laura's take on it is that he keeps losing things because he feels he had lost his father. "
9 " I didn't father two wonderful healthy daughters in order to miss my show because I'm getting more naan from the kitchen, Laura.''Stop pretending to be sexist, Dad. No one's falling for it. We know you're just lazy. "