Home > Work > Brick and Blanket

Brick and Blanket QUOTES

Brick and Blanket QUOTES

1 " One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture device for insomniacs.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

2 " A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

3 " A brick could help me hold down a job. Hey, in an economy as bad as this, every little bit helps. 
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

4 " A brick on a stick could be licked like a lollipop.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

5 " A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous. "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

6 " A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

7 " A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

8 " A blanket could be used to wrap up a case.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

9 " A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wonder that is a blanket, lay your head back, and let the miracle of science cure your yawns.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

10 " A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

11 " A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

12 " Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

13 " A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

14 " A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who I am as a person, you need some mortar and a pillow.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

15 " A brick could be used to keep you three inches away from death.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

16 " A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

17 " A brick could be used as the perfect response in one particular situation. Next time someone says, “I love you,” say nothing. Just grab a brick, cradle it with both hands like a kitten, and hold it out to the other person. Whether you want the other person to leave, or whether you want them to stay, the response works flawlessly every time.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

18 " A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

19 " A brick could be fired out of a cannon, in an attempt to bring down a brick wall, just as index fingers could be severed and flicked at politicians, to try to correctly redirect blame.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket

20 " A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.
 "

― Jarod Kintz , Brick and Blanket