24
" Are we not going to talk about this?” Jentry asked. I let out a huff that sounded more like a scoff, and kept walking in the direction of my room. “Aurora.” He grabbed for my arm, but I jerked it away. “Aurora, stop!” I whirled around when he finally grasped my hand, but managed to yank it away again when my apparent anger shocked him. “What exactly do you want to talk about?” I asked. “The fuck, Aurora?” “Do you want to talk about the fact that Declan’s moving? Or maybe about who the hell you had in my apartment this afternoon?” Jentry’s expression fell, his body stilled. “You saw her?” I laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “Another one of your girls?” I asked, bringing up our conversation from the beach all those weeks ago, and hated that my voice shook. “But it’s not a game though, right?” “No, Aurora—” “Who was that?” I demanded. He took a step toward me, but I backed away and put my hands up, as if I could ever stop him. “Wait, no. Let me guess. Jessica?” Jentry no longer looked sick that I’d found out; he looked terrifying. “What did she say to you?” His voice was deep and severe, and matched his expression. “What does it matter? You’ve been lying to me!” I yelled, ignoring the chill that crept through my body from his voice. “You made me believe—you told me—it doesn’t even matter!” I pointed at him, and then myself as I continued to yell, “We are not together, and thank God for that after what I saw earlier. Screw whoever you want, Jentry, but don’t tell me to stay somewhere so you can bring some girl back to my apartment. Find your own place if that’s what you want.” “Screw her? That’s not—fucking listen to me!” he begged when I turned and hurried to my room. “Auror—” “I don’t want to talk right now.” I gasped in surprise when he gripped my hand in his and yanked me back to where he was. “I do,” he countered huskily. "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
27
" Where have you been?” My brow furrowed as I walked around him, ignoring the way his intoxicating smell filled the room, and the way I was craving to turn around and move into his arms. I focused on plugging my phone in so it could charge, and continued to avoid his stare as I sat down. “What do you mean?” “I was getting ready to go for a run when you left this morning; that was hours ago.” I finally glanced up at him when I heard the underlying panic in his tone. “I’ve been here.” Jentry’s face fell into a mask of frustration. “No. I went running, showered, and have still been here for over an hour. When you left, I figured this was where you were coming. When I got here and you weren’t here, I tried calling you. It went straight to voice mail.” “My phone’s dead; it died on the way over here.” I wanted to ask why Jentry had taken it upon himself to know where I was at all hours of the day, but his tone and expression kept the comments from escaping. He wasn’t acting overprotective or bossy; he seemed genuinely worried and frustrated even though I was sitting right in front of him. “I didn’t know you would try to get a hold of me.” He took a steadying breath in and clenched one of his hands into a fist before letting it relax. “Jentry, what is wrong? I’m right here. I’ve been at the hospital this whole time. I do this almost every morning. I was in the parking lot reading on my car. I read and watch the sun rise.” “What’s wrong is that my brother is lying on that fucking bed in a coma. The last time I called someone I love and it went straight to voice mail, he’d gone for a drive and ended up here.” He blew out an exaggerated breath and scrubbed his hands over his face. When he spoke again, he sounded exhausted. “I just thought you would have been here. I couldn’t think of anywhere else you would have gone that early in the morning. When you weren’t here—when your phone . . .” “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and stood to walk over to him. I hadn’t even thought of doing it. I hadn’t thought of moving toward him, into his arms. I was just there suddenly with my head pressed against chest and his arms wrapped around me, in a place I fit perfectly. “I’m right here.” His chest moved with a silent laugh, and a weighted sigh left his lips. “I see that. "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
28
" What did you say?” Jentry said in low, terrifying tone from somewhere behind me. The edge in his voice was enough to make Linda and me stiffen for a few seconds before Linda’s head snapped up and she turned on her mom charm. “Oh, you know how ladies are, always standing around gossipin’. Go on now, son, just put the food anywhere.” He set the large dishes down on the counter closest to the door, then took slow steps toward us. “What the fuck did you just say,” he demanded again; this time it was no longer a question. “Jentry, don’t,” I pleaded as he neared us. “Young man!” Linda said in a horrified tone. “I am so very disappointed in what has come out of your mouth this weekend. I raised yo—” “Raised me better? Is that what you were going to say?” Jentry huffed as he took the last few steps to place himself between us. “Really, don’t,” I said through clenched teeth, and rocked forward so I could reach for his arm to pull him away, but he held a hand out behind him to stop me. When he continued speaking, his dangerous tone was laced with disappointment. “In a few days I’ve seen more than enough from you to know that you aren’t the woman who raised me. The woman who raised me wasn’t so threatened by her son’s girlfriend that she’d pretend she wasn’t there. The woman who raised me wasn’t so heartless that she’d tear down the same girl every chance she got just because she was hurting. We’re all hurting. Rorie’s fucking hurting, too.” “She has ruined this family!” Linda seethed; her entire frame shook from her anger. Jentry took a step back toward me. His hand was still outstretched, but now looked like it was reaching for me. “You know, I’ve been going crazy trying to figure some things out since I got home, but I’m starting to put a lot together just from this conversation. The woman who raised me also taught me to respect women. And I do. I respect women who deserve it, and Rorie does. Because she loves Declan, too. She’s grieving, too. And throughout everything you’ve done, she’s never said a word. She wouldn’t tell me what you were doing even when I figured out that it was you, and when I did, she said it was deserved. What kind of woman makes a girl think she deserves the bullshit you’ve put her through?” Jentry grabbed on to my forearm and pulled me close to him as he took another step back, away from Linda, toward the door leading out of the kitchen area. Linda watched our movements with a mixture of emotions. There was shock and hurt at Jentry’s words, but whenever her eyes flickered back in my direction, anger unlike anything I’d yet to see from her burned there. Jentry turned us around and came to a halt when we found Kurt standing just inside the doorway holding two dishes, staring at us in shock and confusion. “Do you want to tell me why you’re talking to your mother that way?” he asked. Jentry’s head tilted to the side. “No.” “No?” Kurt’s tone was rougher and rang with authority as Jentry began leading us out of the room. “No,” Jentry confirmed. “Because if I tell you now, I’m gonna say a lot that I’ll regret.” Jentry "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
29
" You never told him?” Taylor whispered quickly, but loud enough that both guys heard. “No, she didn’t,” Declan answered for me. “You were there looking for another guy?” It took all of my energy to keep my eyes from going back to Jentry as I silently pleaded for Declan to understand. I tried to keep my voice from shaking and my tone nonchalant. “It was nothing, really. I’d just talked with him the week before—” Taylor snorted. “And when was this?” Jentry asked. “Beginning of September,” Declan answered without taking his eyes from me. “So about the time I was there,” Jentry said with a guessing tone. I wanted nothing more than to shoot a glare in his direction. Declan finally looked at Jentry as he thought for a second, then shrugged. “Yeah, I think I met Rorie a week or two after you visited me at Duke.” “Huh.” Jentry sent me another challenging smirk. “Guess I’d just missed meeting you back then.” “Guess so,” I bit out with a smile. At that same instant, Taylor’s hand slapped down on my thigh and squeezed. Declan looked back at me, his brows pulled low over his eyes. “If it wasn’t a big deal, why didn’t you tell me why you’d been there? I thought you’d been there for Taylor.” “Well, hey!” Taylor interjected—her hand was squeezing my leg so tightly, I didn’t know if I would have feeling when she let go. “If we hadn’t gone back to find him, she never would’ve met you. Right? Right. Moving on.” I "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
30
" You forget that she’s your mom . . . she’s Declan’s mom. You forget what we’re going through.” Jentry suddenly ate up the distance between us in long strides, and captured my face in his hands, holding me as if I were breakable. My breath escaped me, and my hands automatically clung to his forearms to keep myself standing. “I haven’t forgotten, but it doesn’t fucking excuse what she’s said,” he said. Hard and soft. Always. His piercing black eyes roamed my face and fell across my lips over and over again. Even though I knew I should pull away, even though Declan was lying just a few feet away from us, I was silently pleading with him to press his mouth to mine. “You are beautiful, Aurora,” Jentry said. Just like it did every time he said it, something stirred in me listening to his deep voice say my name. The way it rolled off his tongue like a caress, and each time a breath softer than the rest of his words, made me crave to hear it again. “There is no part of you that isn’t beautiful. Don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise—especially Linda Veil. Do you understand?” I hesitated, then nodded slowly, still trapped in the haze that his eyes always put me in. “Beautiful Aurora,” he whispered, as if to himself, then slowly stepped away from me. Then, as if he was unable to stop himself, he reached back out and cupped his hand around the base of my neck. In a move too quick to stop—not that I would have tried—he pressed his mouth to my jaw, then turned and left. "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
31
" So I’d just given Rorie a huge Jolly Rancher, and this massive naked guy ran into her and she started choking. I thought he was going to kill her with the way he was trying to do the Heimlich maneuver on her. Anyway, while he was helping her, her shoes flew off, and both hit Declan in the head. He came over after and called her Cinderella, and it was super-romantic . . . and the end! Love at first sight and all that.” Taylor was breathing hard, and I was pretty sure my breaths matched each one of hers. “That’s awesome, man,” Jentry said after a beat of silence, and bumped Declan’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you. Cinderellas losing their shoes, love at first sight, happy ever after. It’s what you deserve.” Gone were the taunting tones, the challenging smirks, and heated stares. His focus was solely on Declan, and he seemed genuinely happy for Declan . . . for us. Hard and soft, just as I remembered. Declan’s "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
33
" I was watching Declan watch me with a blank expression. For a while, I wondered if he didn’t know who I was at all, but after a few minutes of staring at me, he turned his hand over, palm up. I stepped closer and slid my hand into his, and marveled again when his fingers immediately curled around mine. “Hey, Dec,” I said softly. “Glad you found your way back.” He didn’t speak—I wasn’t sure if he even could—just continued to watch me blankly. His family spoke to him around us, but he never looked away from me or acknowledged in any way that there was anyone else there. I looked uneasily up at Jentry, and his dark eyes glanced over to me for a second before darting back to Declan. I followed his line of sight when Dec tapped on my finger, and smiled down at him. “What is it, Dec?” His face pinched in pain as he worked his throat a few times, and I heard his mom and sisters gasp in surprise when he spoke. “Ring.” My eyes widened and mouth fell open in amazement at hearing his voice. “What?” “Where’s your ring?” he croaked. I glanced down to look at the finger he’d been tapping on, and his question finally made sense. Sort of. I stared at the third finger of my left hand for long seconds, and looked at Jentry again to see him watching us in confusion and horror as he caught on to what Declan was asking, and what he thought. “We’re engaged,” Declan said roughly, slowly. “Aren’t we? "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
34
" You were mine first,” he murmured gravelly. His head dropped toward mine as he tilted mine back with his hand twisted in my hair almost painfully. Hard and soft, everything I’d been cravi—Declan, Declan, Declan! “I was never yours,” I whispered just before his lips could touch mine. Jentry’s features hardened, and this time when I pushed, he didn’t try to keep me there. He ran his hands over his face and took a few steps away from me until he bumped into a wall. When he dropped his hands and opened his eyes, the indecision I felt coursing through my own body was playing out on his face. Guilt for what we’d done and what I still felt. Love for the man outside. And a soul-deep longing for the one in front of me. “A night?” I asked, bringing up our conversation from last night. His dark eyes flashed. “You and I both know it wasn’t just a night, Aurora. We knew it then, too. And that one night with you will never be enough.” Never . . . “But it has to be,” I whispered, and turned to escape his stare though my soul screamed for more of his touch. I "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
36
" I don’t know how much time you’ll have now that you’re going to be working . . .” I listened as his footsteps approached where I was standing. “But I noticed you were almost done with that book you’ve been reading, and I wanted to make sure you had something for the mornings.” I turned, my face was already pinched in confusion, but quickly morphed into excitement when he held out the next two, and final, books in the series I was reading. “Jentry,” I whispered in amazement as I stepped forward to take the books from him. “Thank you. Wait—how did you know?” He gave me an amused look. “You’ve been reading that book since I got home.” “Right, no, that’s not what I—” I shook my head and exhaled quickly as I tried to steady my thoughts. “But you’ve seen my boxes of books. How did you know that I didn’t already have these?” Jentry just watched me for a few moments, then lifted an eyebrow in response. At that look, my eyes narrowed in suspicion. “I understand you are always taking in your surroundings and don’t miss much—if anything—but those books are in my closet,” I reminded him. He didn’t falter. “Good to know,” I whispered mostly to myself, then studied the books in my hands again. “Thank you, Jentry. This is—this is incredibly sweet of you, even if I do find it creepy that you’ve probably searched my closet and drawers.” “I wouldn’t go that far,” he said with a short laugh, "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
37
" Jentry, what you said back at the hospital—” “You didn’t understand why I wanted you—” “I do,” I disagreed, cutting him off. “I do. You want me to be sure I’m making the right choice. There’s been the time of having you gone, and then time thinking we were all going to lose Declan, and throughout both of those, I was choosing someone. But from day one, it was never a choice with you, it was a need.” My cheeks burned even hotter. “There is nothing without you, Jentry. You told me yesterday that you fell in love with me that first night; is it so impossible to believe that I did the same?” I could tell from his expression that he wanted my words to be true. “But Declan—” “—would never be you. On paper, he’s perfect for me, but I still tried to force him to be you nearly every day of our relationship. In nearly a year, I have never felt for him a fraction of what I feel for you.” I placed my hand on his cheek and said, “For a time, things are going to be about Declan. They have to, even more now that he’s awake, and I know you know that and agree with it. Nothing can be about us right now, and like I told you yesterday, being close to you physically makes remembering that too difficult, but don’t for one second think that I will ever stop needing, wanting, or choosing you. "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
38
" It really is him, isn’t it? The guy we went back for. I mean . . . the way he looked at—” “Maybe he doesn’t remember me!” I said in vain, and a sharp laugh burst from Taylor. “Oh no, he definitely remembers. There was no way not to know what had happened between the two of you.” “Damn it.” I muttered, and tried to focus on the road in front of me. “This isn’t happening.” “You need to tell Decl—” “Are you insane?” I yelled, and whipped my head to the side to look at Taylor. “You saw how hurt he was just finding out that I’d been looking for another guy before I met him. There is no way that I can tell him I slept with his brother, Taylor!” Her hands flew out to the side, and she made an exasperated noise. “Declan isn’t stupid, Rorie. He’s going to find out! The tension between you and Jentry alone is a dead giveaway, but then Jentry kept giving you looks, and you were being rude to him and ignoring him in the most obvious ways tonight. Declan isn’t going to remain in this oblivious, I’m-just-so-happy-to-be-with-my-brother phase for long.” I exhaled heavily and gripped the steering wheel over and over again. When I spoke, my voice was barely above a whisper. “I also won’t be caught off guard again. Declan can’t know.” “Ro—” “It would ruin our relationship, Taylor, and possibly his friendship with Jentry. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be the same, at least. I can’t—I can’t do that to him. I love Declan, and it was just a night with Jentry. "
― Molly McAdams , I See You
