30
" Wonder
The first thing you sent me were fireworks. Sparks of light and color over a bridge to nowhere. I was already in love when we met that summer; I belonged to someone else. To make room for you, I had to ask the world for permission, but every answer was a dead end. But who am I to blame them for telling me what I already knew?
So I danced around you like a storm, white light against the cool black sky, like strobe lights flickering on and off. I said we could be something, you and me. I said so much and meant it, but never proved it to you, did I? We both know what my word was worth, you and me both.
You took my hand under a Ferris wheel, spitting light, spinning lies. You dazzled me, you know. You were incandescent. I don’t think we could have been anything, not really. But isn’t it something to wonder? "
― Lang Leav , Love Looks Pretty on You
31
" Letter to the Past
Tomorrow, you’re going to fall in love, and it won’t be pretty. Tell your mother, even though it will terrify her. Tell her you love him so much, that for once in your life, you don’t have words for it. Tell her it hurts when he looks at you, when he takes from you. Tell her how the sun has betrayed you, how she only carries his light. When he isn’t there, everything is a shadow of his absence.
Don’t go upstairs with him. You’re going to regret it. He’ll never change. I know you’re so lonely you can’t stand it. The kind of lonely that has teeth. A lone wolf howling at the moon. There is a savagery to what you feel. It eats you up inside. But you will get through it; you don’t need his mouth to placate you. You don’t need his hands to untangle the butterfly knot in your heart. Your love is a fire that will burn itself out. Let it ravage you.
Things are coming you can’t even imagine. If you knew what they were, you would forgive this one injustice, this one catastrophe that has brought your life to a screeching, screaming halt. The world will turn for you again, and when it does, it will take you anywhere you want.
I have to go now, but I love you. I need to leave you, but I’ll always be with you. One day, you’ll meet me here, and I will tell you this: I will tell you that we made it "
― Lang Leav , Love Looks Pretty on You