9
" Idols
You put her on a pedestal. Love her, adore her, crown her
as your queen. Then you watch and wait, for a slip, a split
second when her guard is down. You would tear her into
pieces just to claim a fragment of her story.
No one can be perfect all the time. Why do you expect her to
be any different? Why is she held to an impossible standard?
Why do you take it so personally when she contradicts the
version of herself that exists only in your head?
You think you know her, that she owes you somehow. That
her existence is only relative to yours. But she is her own
person. She lives and breathes, she hopes and dreams. She has
a life, a love, a family, a purpose. And she doesn’t owe anyone
a damn thing. "
― Lang Leav , Love Looks Pretty on You
14
" Anxiety
I struggle with things that are as easy to others as breathing.
Like breathing. Like answering the phone. Or sending that email I have been meaning to for weeks.
I panic when I am asked out to dinner, even if it’s with someone I really want to see.
It’s hard for me to commit to anything, and when I do, I overthink it until my brain tells me I have made a mistake, like a rat caught in a maze, trying to claw its way out.
I don’t know why I am like this. People ask me why I can’t do anything without jumping through a thousand thoughts, like hoops. But sometimes I wonder if my inability to function in the real world is really such a bad thing. I wonder if that’s why I’ve spent so much time sheltered in my imagination.
And because I can’t live in the real world, I create worlds to belong to. And I wonder if the very thing I’ve always been told is my weakness, has all along, been my strength. "
― Lang Leav , Love Looks Pretty on You
