The Mom Factor QUOTES

1 " we need people to whom we can talk and who will understand without invalidating our feelings by saying the following: You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s not that bad. You’re overreacting. Don’t be so sensitive. Where’s your faith? Instead, they say, I understand. That really sounds sad. What a terrible feeling! Oh, I’m sorry you went through that. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

3 " God has built emotions into our personalities for a reason: they are a signal. Much like a barometer measures atmospheric pressure, emotions work as a gauge to tell us the state of our soul. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

5 " A child cannot tolerate a mother’s anger. She either splits from the relationship, or she becomes terrified. Neither alternative promotes freedom and individuality. Independence, as we mentioned above, needs to be fostered, not attacked by mother. She has the power to send one of two messages: “Your individuality is loved,” or “Your individuality is my enemy, and I will destroy it.” A child cannot stand up to that kind of attack and develop in the way that she needs to. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

7 " In order for any of us to become fully functioning members of society, we must learn an interdependent dance with the community in which we live. We need each other. We need our friends. We need teaching and information from sources other than our parents. When we learn to use the community to meet our needs for relationship and truth, we can then be grounded wherever we find ourselves in life. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

9 " Structuring our feelings helps add reality to them. In fact, para-doxically, many of the invalidating things that people do are attempts to structure us. But the time for structuring is after validation. After our feelings have been validated, we can understand them and put them into perspective. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

11 " herself. She is the laboratory for the child to become an adult, and it takes its toll on her. The good mother gets her needs for love, affection, and respect met by God and the safe people in her life. Only in this way can she altruistically and sacrificially do the best thing for the child, who desperately needs safe passage toward adulthood. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor

13 " Гораздо лучше будет для ребенка, если он простит вас сегодня, а не тридцать лет спустя
на сеансе у психотерапевта, оставив за своей спиной два неудачных брака. "

― Henry Cloud , The Mom Factor