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The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection QUOTES

The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection QUOTES

1 " you can’t start painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and they won’t come and ask you to until you’ve painted a lot first. This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

2 " I mean, if you fool about too long at the start, trying to establish atmosphere, as they call it, and all that sort of rot, you fail to grip and the customers walk out on you. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

3 " I felt as if I had stepped on the place where the last stair ought to have been, but wasn’t. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

4 " But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.” “Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.” “He’s supposed to be one of the best men in London.” “I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

5 " His was a simple mind, able to amuse itself with simple things. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

6 " Just as you say, sir. There is a letter on the tray, sir.” “By Jove, Jeeves, that was practically poetry. Rhymed, did you notice? "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

7 " It was perfectly amazing, the way her mere presence seemed to wipe speech from my lips—and mine, for that matter, from hers. It began to look as if our married life together would be rather like twenty years among the Trappist monks. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

8 " One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs, sir. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

9 " It was a dashed tricky thing, of course, to have to decide on the spur of the moment. I was reading in the paper the other day about those birds who are trying to split the atom, the nub being that they haven’t the foggiest as to what will happen if they do. It may be all right. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

10 " I’ve often wondered since then how these murderer fellows manage to keep in shape while they’re contemplating their next effort. I had a much simpler sort of job on hand, and the thought of it rattled me to such an extent in the night watches that I was a perfect wreck next day. Dark circles under the eyes— "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

11 " What on earth did he do after that? London late at night—or even in the daytime, for that matter—is no place for a man in scarlet tights. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

12 " You could tell it was classical, because the banjo players were leaning back and chewing gum; and in New York restaurants only death or a classical speciality can stop banjoists. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

13 " Scrubby, impecunious men drift to and fro there, waiting for the gods to provide something easy; and the prudent man, conscious of the possession of loose change, whizzes through the danger zone at his best speed, ‘like one that on a lonesome road doth walk in fear and dread, and having once turned round walks on, and turns no more his head, because he knows a frightful fiend doth close behind him tread. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

14 " Because I have already attended to the matter, sir.” “What?” “Yes, sir. I decided, after all, to acquiesce in your wishes.” I stared at the man, astounded. I was deeply moved. Well, I mean, wouldn’t any chap who had been going about thinking that the old feudal spirit was dead and then suddenly found it wasn’t have been deeply moved? “Jeeves,” I said, “I am touched. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

15 " And if I didn’t burn the thing, how else could I get rid of it? Fellows on the battle-field eat dispatches to keep them from falling into the hands of the enemy, but it would have taken me a year to eat Uncle Willoughby’s Recollections. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

16 " Look at the tall, thin one with the face like a motor-mascot. Has he ever done an honest day’s work in his life? No! A prowler, a trifler, and a blood-sucker! And I bet he still owes his tailor for those trousers! "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

17 " A breezy disregard for the preservation of the pence was a family trait. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection

18 " And when a woman says “Oh!” like that, it means all the bad words she’d love to say if she only knew them. "

― P.G. Wodehouse , The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection