Home > Work > The Vampire Club
1 " May they twist and writhe in hell and choke on Charlaine Harris’s soiled panties!” “True "
― J.R. Rain , The Vampire Club
2 " The grumbling in my stomach kept my ears busy, while images of Janice occupied my thoughts. No, not those images. You pervert. I mean, the ones with her clothes on where we’re having a serious relationship. What "
3 " It was all working out too perfectly. We’d located the vampire, we’d found a nice base right next to the alleged vampire resting grounds, and all we had to do was walk right up and introduce ourselves. And, hopefully, ask him to bite us. "
4 " I love vampires more than sex,” he began, an intro we could have done without. "
5 " Fact: we have researched vampires extensively. Fact: we have read all the vampire fiction, and though usually it’s a good read, most of it should be burned. Fact: we know more about vampires than anyone else alive. "
6 " Where did you get this article?” asked Juan. “A weekly newspaper called The Inquireth.” “A tabloid!” “My "
7 " In West Virginia?” “No, Virginia. The western part of plain Virginia.” “That’s confusing. What’s your major?” And with every ounce of pride I could muster, I said, “Vampire Studies.” She shrank away from me as if I had tooted. “And why do you study them?” She gave me the old “Jeez, what a geek” squint. “The "
8 " Finally, after the final bend in what might have been a road had there not been bushes and trees in the way, a white mansion slid into view. "
9 " This place is spooky. What kind of family is this? And why are there so many relatives living in this one mansion? And why do they all look as if the Terminator T-800 used his futuristic medical advances to impregnate the She-Hulk, and out comes Dial and all his relatives one after the other?” “Vividly "
10 " Janice and I were waiting in my room when they all arrived, Buddy giving me a curious “Did ya get lucky?” look. A gentleman never tells, especially if the answer is no. When "
11 " The dirt was dirty and I was soon as filthy as could be. "
12 " Her charms are quite noticeable, even by one as flaccid as I.” “She’s "
13 " I didn’t know what sort of relationship we had—was he my relative, my blood brother, that guy I did an embarrassing thing with that we’d never mention again, or was he just some dude who’d tricked me out of my soul to extend his own existence? I "
