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1 " Tea was coffee’s bitch. "
― Kat T. Masen , #Jerk
2 " Tonight, I want to curl up with a good book and visit my fictional boyfriends. Now let me tell you, my list is long. I am the equivalent to Hugh Hefner, but instead of bunnies I have this ever-growing list of male characters that have stolen my heart. I "
3 " Promises are just promises, made to be broken if they are built on lies. Not "
4 " The only connection you had was when he stuck his pecker in your bird hole. "
5 " I think he does. No offense, Clive, but women don’t want to read about men getting hot and heavy. They want alpha billionaires breaking their virginity.” “Why "
6 " Talk about loose lips, and I don’t mean the ones on her face. "
7 " Nevertheless, I started packing my belongings and getting rid of items I no longer need like my MC Hammer pants from the nineties. There’s nostalgia, and then there is just plain hoarding. Hammer pants fall into the hoarding category though my mother would argue that in a heartbeart. "
8 " I stuck to my five-month-rule, minus four months, two weeks, and four days. Turns out the older you get, the shorter the timespan. "
9 " Uh, because he stuck his GI Joe in your Polly Pocket? "
10 " She makes it impossible to hate anything about her. At least if she had a giant mole on her nose and a long chin, I could refer to her as a witch. "
11 " I can’t take my eyes off the bush. You could run a brush through it and style it with cornrows, it’s that long. "
12 " If you’re pissed off at someone you throw a martini in their face, or bash them on social media. You don’t fuck them in the alley!” I "
13 " I happened to be wearing my big-girl panties (often referred to as Aunt Flo’s couture) "
14 " Honey, the only pussy you have is the one currently filling up with cobwebs. "
