Home > Work > Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt
21 " I must come back to a point I have made repeatedly: never treat others with contempt, even if you believe they deserve it. "
― Arthur C. Brooks , Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt
22 " Rule 4. Disagree better. Be part of a healthy competition of ideas. "
23 " We all want a safer, fairer, more prosperous country. We just disagree on how to achieve that aim. We need a passionate competition of ideas so that each side refines its solutions, becomes more innovative, and therefore the best ideas rise to the top. Shutting down the competition of ideas makes it harder to achieve our common moral goals. "
24 " In his Summa Theologica, Saint Thomas Aquinas said, “To love is to will the good of the other.”10 The modern philosopher Michael Novak refines this further by adding two words: “To love is to will the good of the other as other” (emphasis mine).11 He continues: “Love is not sentimental, nor restful in illusions, but watchful, alert, and ready to follow evidence. It seeks the real as lungs crave air. "
25 " Edmund Burke wrote, “He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. "
26 " Great CEOs know this. They don’t surround themselves with sycophants and yes-men who tell them whatever they already think is right. In the best of cases, such a practice lowers performance, because there are fewer ideas in the mix; it explains why one study of CEOs finds they tend to see falling performance in the second half of their tenures. They start relying too much on their own judgment as opposed to the ideas of others.25 In the worst cases, it leads to disasters that could be averted with a little critical feedback. The Harvard Business Review has dispensed this simple piece of advice: “Hire people who disagree with you. "
27 " Anyone who can’t tell the difference between an ordinary Bernie Sanders supporter and a Stalinist revolutionary, or between Donald Trump’s average voter and a Nazi, is either willfully ignorant or needs to get out of the house more. "
28 " mean it’s hate speech or the person saying it is a deviant. "
29 " Unfortunately, in too many cases today, we are doing something akin to this in universities, and a new generation of American leaders is being taught that a competition of ideas is dangerous and unacceptable; that it is acceptable to shut down the competition if the other side’s ideas make students uncomfortable. This trend doesn’t just defy the principles of excellence; it also flies in the face of one of the great intellectual and moral epiphanies of our time—that human diversity is beneficial per se. "
30 " You will see why the current model of contemptuous leadership is a losing proposition in the long run, as well as why better, not less, disagreement holds the key to greater harmony. "
31 " You see, whether or not we want to admit it, political contempt and division are what economists call a demand-driven phenomenon. Famous people purvey it, but ordinary citizens are the ones creating a market for it. "
32 " What I am not proud of is our increasing resistance to competing ideas, right here at home in our politics, in media, and on campuses. So how do we solve it? We need leaders who—while holding their own opinions—tolerate others’, because they recognize that iron sharpens iron ideologically; that diversity in all forms is where our strength and unity are to be found. "
33 " The point is to destroy your empathy for the object of his or her derision through dehumanization. Perhaps that seems like no big deal, but make no mistake: You are being manipulated to hate a fellow human being. "
34 " As we used to note, some conductors are evil geniuses, but all are evil. "
35 " What happened after this exchange, though, is just as instructive. Colleagues made fun of john because of his “homeless girlfriend.” This reveals a sobering truth. “Sometimes,” says john, “there’s a cost associated with bridging. And sometimes, the cost can be quite high. "
36 " Bridging, like warm-heartedness, takes courage. "
37 " There is a special bond among Americans who stand up for one another when they disagree. Have you done that recently? If not, you’re missing out on a great source of joy. If you’re still not convinced, try the following and see how it makes you feel. Defend someone with whom you disagree, simply because he or she has a right to an opinion and the right to be heard. Take note that your heart will be on fire when you do it. That’s because it’s morally right, and your heart knows "
38 " The total amount of time spent posting comments online correlated positively with sadism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. This was especially true for those who relished “trolling,” the anonymous posting of negative and destructive comments. The participants who listed trolling as their favorite activity earned the highest scores on those unsavory psychological measures. "
39 " the more willing we should be to listen and engage—especially if the person with whom we are in conversation will challenge our deeply held—even our most cherished and identity-forming—beliefs. . . "
40 " Despite their vastly different personalities, Trump and Sanders were actually viewed by many voters as practically interchangeable. As amazing as it might seem to partisan Democrats and Republicans, I spoke to many people who said they would vote for either Trump or Sanders, but no one else. On Election Day, about 12 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters in the Democratic primary voted for Donald Trump in the general election.12 These Sanders voters gave Trump the margin of victory in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania—the three states that in the end handed Trump the White House. "