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The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer QUOTES

The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer QUOTES

1 " What’s this to me? • What about this bothers me so much? • What feels familiar about this? • When did I feel this way before? • Who does this remind me of? • What mistaken belief is triggered? "

― Judith Wright , The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer

2 " In these instances, take a step back and say to yourself, Whoa, what’s going on with me? Why am I so triggered (angry, enraged, freaked out, frozen, numb, shut down, or charged up)? Ah, that’s it; I’m in an amygdala hijack. If you can have this type of self-awareness and learn how to act differently in these situations, you can reveal and eventually liberate yourself from this reactive loop. You will give yourself the option of choosing a new and better behavior. Don’t doubt you can do this; students as early as third grade are identifying hijacks to avert conflict. "

― Judith Wright , The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer

3 " What’s on your heart and mind? What’s going well? Where are you struggling? What are you afraid of? What do you yearn for? What are you looking forward to? What are you feeling? What were your hopes today? Your dreams? How are you living toward "

― Judith Wright , The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer