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" One of the very first principles I teach people about criticism is to consider the source. I tell my kids this all the time: consider the source. Not all sources are created equally. Is this the kind of person who tells the truth? Someone who wants other people to succeed? Someone who is fair? Someone who is knowledgeable about your field? If not, the source is not legitimate, and the criticism is tainted. Unless you want the character of the person criticizing you, don’t pay too much attention to it.
The second thing to consider is your critic’s motive. Of course, you can’t always know this, but if we think about possible motives, it may help us to dismiss criticism that is not only unhelpful but that also may derail us from finishing first.
Is the motive to distract you? Control you? Exert authority? Keep you down? Prevent you from passing him or her? Simply to be mean? If any of these motives seem true about this person, what good could possibly come from paying attention to his or her criticism? Once you start paying attention to who is criticizing you, you find a good deal of your criticism to be inconsequential. Unimportant. Simply a distraction from what you’re trying to do.
Here’s another thing to consider about a critic. For every bit of attention you give a critic, you can’t give that exact amount of attention to your program, your practice, the work it takes to win. Critics know this. So many critics keep doing what they’re doing because it’s working. It doesn’t help them to win, but it keeps you from winning, which is enough for them. Do you have enough integrity to stand in the face of criticism and not be swayed? "
― Scott Hamilton , Finish First: Winning Changes Everything
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" The biggest trouble with critics is that, most of the time, we’re our own greatest critic. This is a universally understood concept—that you are your own harshest judge. So how do you get away from the voice of criticism when the voice is inside your head?
Where did this voice come from? So often the critic started outside but then moved inside. We rehearsed the outside voice for long enough that it became a part of us.
If you grew up with parents who said you were strong and could accomplish anything you set your mind to, you are much more likely to succeed than if your parents were constantly pointing out your failures.
I gave a speech at a prayer breakfast a few years ago and kept asking my audience, over and over again, “Who do you want to be? What do you want your life to be about?” You get to decide who you want to be. Not anyone else. Not your critics. Not the voice inside your head. You. And if you want to be the kind of person who paves the way for others, who overcomes impossible challenges, who sets the bar higher and higher, who wakes others up to the potential lying dormant in them, who unlocks and unleashes your own hidden and unimaginable potential, then nothing will stop you. Not even your own doubts. "
― Scott Hamilton , Finish First: Winning Changes Everything
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" Those who have the loudest inner critic also often become the most relentless critics of those around them. This is a hidden danger of giving in to your inner critic. Suddenly you become the one pointing out everyone else’s faults, making it impossible—or at least extra challenging—for anyone to reach his or her full potential.
You have suddenly become the one asserting your supposed authority, trying to keep people down, distracting them from the work they’re doing to reach new heights. Here’s something to remember. Winners are rarely big critics. It’s not that they’re not discerning. It’s just that they’re not wasting time looking around at everyone else, trying to correct their mistakes. They’re too focused for that. They’re too busy. They’re too interested in pointing people toward what is possible, rather than dragging them down with useless criticism.
If you allow yourself to be overly critical of others, you will drag yourself down. You’ll be frozen and stuck. There’s no way to be a big critic and also be a champion. Bob Goff famously said, “Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice.”
I think this is so true. May we be winners.
But may we be the kind of winners who focus more on the best in people than the worst in them. Including, especially, ourselves. "
― Scott Hamilton , Finish First: Winning Changes Everything
