Home > Work > King Dork (King Dork, #1)
21 " When I dream of how it would be if I were suddenly transformed into the kind of guy that does not repulse the females of our species, I don’t necessarily think of any particular girl. Pick "
― Frank Portman , King Dork (King Dork, #1)
22 " And believe me, you don’t want to be around Migraine Mom. I strongly recommend avoiding that subject. "
23 " What he meant was that he had fixed some vegetarian slop with lentils and bean-curd lumps and weird-tasting fake cheese, and that we were welcome to have a crack at choking some of it down. So Sam Hellerman hightailed it out of there. Lucky bastard. "
24 " Now, if this were a murder mystery, and I were a weird Belgian guy with a big mustache, this is the point where I would suddenly stop dead, drop my tiny glass of chocolate liqueur, and say something like “But no! But I have been an imbecile! Imbécile!” And then you’d have to wait another fifty pages or so to find out exactly what the hell I had been talking about. But I won’t do that to you. The salutation "
25 " I’m a very spiritual person,” she likes to say, for instance. Like when she’s explaining how she hates religion and all those who practice it. Well, okay, if it makes you feel better, Carol. "
26 " The guy who wrote The Doors of Perception got off way easier, though, especially since the worst band in the history of the world, the Doors, named themselves after it. He has a lot to answer for. "
27 " HIGH SCHOOL IS THE PENALTY FOR TRANSGRESSIONS YET TO BE SPECIFIED "
28 " I mean, everything beats me, even twos and threes. "
29 " The entire second-period sophomore girls’ PE class thought my balls were uniquely and supremely beneath contempt. Great. "
30 " You start by allowing your own world to be corrupted by their warped values, and then you gradually start using their sadistic methods and eventually end up adopting bits of their sick ideology. And even then, when you have become just like them, they will eventually turn on you anyway. Normal people are savage beasts. "
31 " There's something weird and sexual about the way some people talk about God--have you noticed? "