" Now, if this were a murder mystery, and I were a weird Belgian guy with a big mustache, this is the point where I would suddenly stop dead, drop my tiny glass of chocolate liqueur, and say something like “But no! But I have been an imbecile! Imbécile!” And then you’d have to wait another fifty pages or so to find out exactly what the hell I had been talking about. But I won’t do that to you. The salutation "
― Frank Portman , King Dork (King Dork, #1)