" Making changes, to yourself and the world around you, is never easy. If my intent is to put good into this world, it makes more sense to get introspective. How much does my behavior factor directly into the pain others feel? What can I do to reduce that? It helps to remember that as much as it hurts me to hear, it probably hurts them more to say and feel. "

― Kevin A. Patterson , Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities