" I try to wrap my mind around this paradox: self-sabotage as a form of control. If I screw up my life, I can engineer my own death rather than have it happen to me. If I stay in a doomed relationship, if I mess up my career, if I hide in fear instead of facing what’s wrong with my body, I can create a living death—but one where I call the shots. "

― Lori Gottlieb , Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed