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1 " Betrayal is a more subtle, twisted feeling than terror. It burns and eats, but terror stabs right through. "
― , The Enslaved Queen: A Memoir about Electricity and Mind Control
2 " I am hyper alert to people turning away from me. I have a perennial sense of being an outsider. "
― , White Witch in a Black Robe: A True Story about Criminal Mind Control
3 " The concentration camps were a laboratory for the Nazis. They put the minorities and intellectuals in there because the general population wouldn't mind losing those people. The Nazi leaders knew people needed targets for their own self-hatred. "
4 " I never had the ambition to do what clinicians call "integrate". Many clinicians think that until your mind comes into one piece, then you have not healed. But I don't care that much about what the experts say. "
5 " Had I not been dissociative, I never would have survived. "
6 " I want to see her naked, " Mengele said pointing to Marlene. She cried and shock. My mother flung her body in front of Marlene's and said, "You can't have her. I love her, my daughter." My father said, "Take the younger one. She's smarter, " as he pushed me over forward.Marlene cried because father said I was smarter even though he was just trying to manipulate Mengele. The doctor's chest grew large. "
7 " Scientists, doctors, and trained ordinary citizens use drugs and torture to render children machines that do others' bidding. The commands these perpetrators put in the victims are called "programming".They take an isolated, barricaded piece from one stream in the mind and another and another and sometimes tie them together at the bottom and twist them together and tell them to act but not remember. "
8 " I wanted my mother to love me. Despite all the torture and brutality. "
9 " This book is not for the delicate or for people who are convinced the world is fine just the way it is. "
10 " People don't make decisions within these sorts of groups. They try to avoid more torture. Then they are tortured into thinking they made a decision of their own free will. "
11 " I leave the message that you can break away from the inheritance of murder, rape, evil, the greed of violence. That you have a choice, that the enemy is not insurmountable. That there is anyway some protective help in life. "
12 " What better weapon than the human brain? The human brain was Mrs Twartski's and Wiezenslowski's domain. The children who were used were the castaways of the United States government, like dogs abandoned and a vet's office. Mrs. Twartski read the letter out loud, slowly and carefully enunciating every word in her thick Polish accent. The German scientists were looking for children who could learn quickly, were between ages four and twelve, and could withstand being famished without dying. Deutschland were paying dollar $50,000 per subject. Everyone in living room exactly Mrs. Twartski and all my aunts let out a huge "Ahhh". My sister's and my eyes grew wide because we had no idea what this meant or why the adults were so excited. Then my sister's eyes narrowed as if she knew something that I didn't yet, as if she had just figured something out. "
13 " As an adult, it shatters me that the child parts of my mind froze at those ages, didn't develop, and continued to believe the outrageous deceptions the abusers used on me. "
14 " To psychotherapists, I say, don't just leave us abandoned because you think you don't know enough to help us, or because the world doesn't believe in what we went through, or because our trauma is too awful to hear about. "
15 " I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion. Normal people do that out of their own insecurities and ambitions. Mind-controlled people are hollow because their minds were taken away from them. Their controllers instruct these shells of people about what to do and when. Theirs is institutionalized, manufactured falsity. "
16 " I imagine everyone wears layered masks, and parades around a variety or panoply of false selves depending on the occasion. "
17 " I see individuals whose lives have been so protected that they seem like pearls nestled in velvet jewelry cases. I cannot empathize. "
18 " know as I swim that I have large pieces of me not yet healed, and I do not feel ready for this joining. Better for all the disparate parts to be completely healed first. But even if I had used all my strength and resources, even if I had gritted my teeth and dug my heels in, even if I had screamed "No," I would not have been able to stop this rip tide. It happens, and I am carried afloat on a major wave of reuniting and melding. All survivors of this kind of abuse will have their own rhythm and order to their joining. "