QUOTE : know as I swim that I have large pieces of me not yet healed, and I do not feel ready for this joining. Better for all the disparate parts to be completely healed first. But even if I had used all my strength and resources, even if I had gritted my teeth and dug my heels in, even if I had screamed "No," I would not have been able to stop this rip tide. It happens, and I am carried afloat on a major wave of reuniting and melding. All survivors of this kind of abuse will have their own rhythm and order to their joining.