Home > Author > A.J. Jacobs
41 " Sometimes miracles occur only when you jump in. "
― A.J. Jacobs , The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible
42 " A few weeks later, I’m in a fluorescent-lit classroom in Chelsea awaiting the start of the official Mensa test. I’m sitting next to a guy who’s doing a series of elaborate neck stretches, like we’re about to engage in a vigorous rugby match. He’s neatly laid out four types of gum on his Formica desk: Juicy Fruit, Wrigley Spearmint, Big Red, and Eclipse. I hate this guy. I hope to God he’s not a genius. "
― A.J. Jacobs , The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World
43 " In trying to avoid one sin I've committed another. "
44 " It comes back to the old question: How can the Bible be so wise in some places and so barbaric in others? And why should we put any faith in a book that includes such brutality? "
45 " If the Britannica has taught me anything, it's to be more careful. I don't want to turn into an unseemly noun or verb or adjective someday. I don't want to be like Charles Boycott, the landlord in Ireland who refused to lower rents during a famine, leading to the original boycott. I don't want to be like Charles Lynch, who headed an irregular court that hung loyalists during the Revolutionary War. I can't have "Jacobs" be a verb that means staying home all the time or washing your hands too frequently. "
46 " Ezekiel and his fellow prophets have become my heroes. They were fearless. They literalized metaphors. They turned their lives into protest pieces. They proved that, in the name of truth, sometimes you can't be afraid to take a left turn from polite society and look absurd. "
47 " What seems terrible at first may turn out to be a great thing. You can't predict. "
48 " Let me tell you, though: being the smartest boy in the world wasn’t easy. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want this. On the contrary, it was a huge burden. First, there was the task of keeping my brain perfectly protected. My cerebral cortex was a national treasure, a masterpiece of the Sistine Chapel of brains. This was not something that could be treated frivolously. If I could have locked it in a safe, I would have. Instead, I became obsessed with brain damage. "
49 " Huh. I’m not sure how to respond to this. Is Alex Trebek black? He sure doesn’t look black. He looks pretty white to me. He looks like the quintessence, the very incarnation, of whiteness. "
50 " Jealousy is a useless, time-wasting emotion that's eating me alive. "
51 " The literal Greek translation is “school for naked exercise.” Which made toweling off the stationary bike even more important. "
52 " You tell them you have a hunger and a thirst. You don't sit at the same table but you have a hunger and a thirst. "
53 " The key is to pump up your righteous anger and mute your petty resentment. I'll be happy if I can get that balance to fifty-fifty. "
54 " When I get it home and start to read it, the first thing I notice is that Warren has copyrighted the phrase “Purpose-driven.” It has a little ® after it. This makes me angry. Did Jesus copyright “Turn the Other Cheek”®? Did Moses trademark “Let My People Go?”™ "
55 " I'm hungry enough that I started to salivate at the sight of lettuce. I repeat: lettuce. "
― A.J. Jacobs , Drop Dead Healthy: One Man's Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection
56 " Back to the books. The world’s largest bell was built in 1733 in Moscow, and weighed in at more than four hundred thousand pounds. It never rang—it was broken by fire before it could be struck. What a sad little story. All that work, all that planning, all those expectations—then nothing. Now it just sits there in Russia, a big metallic symbol of failure. I have a moment of silence for the silent bell. "
57 " Why should we always try to be true to our natural selves? What if our natural selves are assholes? Stalin was true to himself "
― A.J. Jacobs , The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment
58 " I did get a colonic, but I've decided not write about it at length. I didn't find it helpful or enlightening. I can tell you want it felt like, though: It felt like someone shooting water up your butt. "
59 " The MRI has a repertoire of noises that resemble, in no particular order: a game-show buzzer for a wrong answer, urgent knocking, a modem from 1992, a grizzly-bear growl, and a man with a raspy voice shouting what sounds like "mother cooler! "
60 " ...Med students panic their first year when they learn all the diseases. It's not until the second year that they learn the cures. "