3
" And I thought, y’know, I mean…this is crazy. I mean, the only thing that determines what country you belong to is where you happened to be born? What is a country, anyway? It’s not, y’know, “purple mountain’s majesty” or “fruited plains,” whatever the hell that means. I mean, America isn’t a place, it’s an ideal. It could happen in the Sahara Desert and still be America. For that matter, I’m the child of immigrants. My father’s lived and worked in this country for the past three decades. And he’s somehow more or less American than some redneck who uses Osama bin Laden for toilet paper? How the hell do you measure something like that? "
― Phillip Andrew Bennett Low , Indecision Now! A Libertarian Rage
14
" And it started out fun. We were chattering enthusiastically, flipping between CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News. But as the evening wore on, and the numbers rolled in, it got quieter, and I found myself becoming intensely depressed. Why was I putting myself through this? The issues I’ve devoted my life to have become so marginalized by the coverage that they have no possible relevance to me. I can’t even blame the media — people simply don’t care about alternate-party politics. And why should they? I’m so far in the minority that my activism is a joke, a punchline that stopped being funny years ago. It goes beyond rooting for the underdog. It’s not rooting for the Giants: it’s more like, say, rooting for the Twins. But during the Super Bowl. "
― Phillip Andrew Bennett Low , Indecision Now! A Libertarian Rage
17
" Desist! I have never been one to delight in religion, but even my ignorance knows that the practice of holiness means to improve human nature. This is not religion, but carnal indulgence. To drink, and to fornicate, mocking the state, as it calls you...when enemies bang on the gates, will you sing, and imbibe, and make love while they slaughter? To love, instead of to fight? For the power of flowers, ridiculous garlands you weave in your hair will not save you. The making of love won't protect you from war, from a bloody and terrible war. To have peace would be wonderful. Peace at all costs is submission, is slavery, shame worse than death. "
― Phillip Andrew Bennett Low , Monsters in a Mirror: Strange Tales from the Chapel Perilous
18
" And dozens of tiny hands reached up, and cast back dozens of tiny hoods. The robes fell away, revealing a motley of brightly-colored, dwarfish creatures, perched atop one another’s shoulders, brandishing outlandish tubes of a shiny substance none present had ever seen before. With preternatural speed and precision, they were trained upon the wild-eyed Romans, and after a few frantic pumping motions, streams of fluid arced through the air towards them. Wherever they landed, upon flesh or armor, steam burst forth, and the soldiers screamed in agony. Many of them were seasoned, having put down rebellions throughout the Empire, but all of their training and experience failed them in the face of elves wielding super soakers. Super soakers filled with battery acid. "
― Phillip Andrew Bennett Low , Get Thee Behind Me, Santa: An Inexcusably Filthy Children's Time-Travel Farce for Adults Only
