78
" 20 October 1911
... it is an incomparable blessing and joy to know that I have eased my husband's burden and that in the darkest moments of these last ten years he has turned to me and he has found comfort.
If it were possible I would say I love him more now even than I did at the beginning. It is as though my heart and soul grow and expand to make room for his love. Or as though as I perceive each new aspect of him - or as he changes, my love grows to encircle and hold what I see.
And yet I do not know what to make of his recent mood for I have , of late, seen some intimations that lead me to fear that he may be losing heart. He continues to defend cases vigorously, but he no longer seized o opportunities to place his cause, the cause of Egypt, before the public. He has said, on two occasions, that he would like to spend more time in Tawasi, or perhaps travel abroad. But I own I cannot imagine him leading the life of a private gentleman. For all his happiness that I would have in private times with him, there would be the sadness of knowing that he has relinquished the one essential purpose of his life - "
― Ahdaf Soueif , The Map of Love