Home > Author > E.J. WOOD
1 " I had never been so grateful for shoveling shit in all my life. "
― E.J. WOOD , The Forgotten Man
2 " I was having my own game of tug of war with my cyclops at least once a night. "
― E.J. WOOD , The Fantasiser
3 " Today we are going to discover all about your vagina. "
4 " Never forget, the world said after the Holocaust. But the world is forgetting. "
5 " I have romanticised you to the point where the knives you pressed into my skin began to look like cupids arrows. "
― E.J. WOOD , Beyond The Pale
6 " These people are just mad, Clarence. It's as simple as that. ' DI Tenley Burke "
― E.J. WOOD , The Kidnapper's Word
7 " Most of the guests here are psychotic gang bangers anyway! "
8 " Did that fucktard touch you? "
9 " I'd eat your face like a pack of jackals eating their stolen spoils. "
10 " You defy me? "
11 " That's because you have couture bollocks. "
12 " You look like you are enjoying this a little too much."Oh no, just a fond memory came to mind."Whilst removing the liver? Heaven forbid. "
13 " Just because I survived doesn’t mean I could live "
14 " You cut his dick off!"You know about that then? "
15 " Amelia, you are quite the challenge. "
16 " You will be my mortal sin Ileana. "
17 " I've come to realise that there is always more than meets the eye, James "
18 " If you live in a hot or semi hot climate and have black leather seats in your sexy black car then, in summer, if you are wearing shorts as I was you must get used to the smell of bacon frying. "
19 " Do try it; it's their best kept secret if you ask me.'I´m more of a meat eater. "
20 " As I pull down my dress the suddenrealisation that I have just brutalised my own twat in the company of others places me in the most perplexing situation that I have ever found myself in. "
