Home > Author > Fred Barnett
21 " Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015 "
― Fred Barnett
22 " I'll only be wearing a t-shirt,” she said. “I love to let the tropical breeze ruffle my tail feathers. "
23 " Vlad was sexting Elizabeth a picture of his pulă rigiditate, while he told Mina. “I vould like totally hang up on the dude. He’s no Baldwin." — Bats 2015 "
24 " We won’t be able to sleep without the sound of her self-loathing orgasms crying out into the night." —Bats 2015 "
25 " I was afraid that your buns were blown all the way to the Bardot Museum in Paris, where they put them on display, and then….” Mina said, “Were they displayed like this?" —Bats 2015 "
26 " Grrrrowpt.” said dead Penelope. Dead Huthbert nodded, and hugged her. She moved his dusty hand from her dusty ass." — BATS 2015 "
27 " ...causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects." — Amok 2015 "
28 " Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives." — Bats 2015 "
29 " Gentle With Them Thar Spurs'—a sequel to 'Riders of the Purple Sau-Sage.' Spurs was the feminist novel of its day…which was Tuesday." —Bats 2015 "
30 " Elizabeth poured the brewskilicious foam over her aforementioned bodalicious huzza-huzzas and Wahwahzoozie." — Bats 2015 "
31 " Purrrrrrrr” Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. “I hear a Kitty!” Vlad’s eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. “You’re teasing me!" — Bats "
32 " I could not put your new novel down. At 950 pages and weighing in at over ten lbs. I couldn’t even pick the goddamned thing up! "
33 " Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead." — Bats 2015 "
34 " He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears." — Bats 2015 "
35 " The Stranger: Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom. "