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Meghan Daum QUOTES

Meghan Daum QUOTES

1 " For my mother’s entire life, her mother was less a mother than splintered bits of shrapnel she carried around in her body, sharp, rusty debris that threatened to puncture an organ if she turned a certain way. "

― Meghan Daum , The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion

2 " Novelty has a way of intensifying memory. The less often you do something, the deeper the memory burrows in. "

― Meghan Daum

3 " There's more than one way to be a person. Actually, there are more than two or three ways. You'd think that was obvious, but I find that often it is not. The world is essentially a collection of teams. Life is a process of deciding which ones we're going to join. "

― Meghan Daum

4 " Life is mostly an exercise in being something other than what we used to be while remaining fundamentally — and sometimes maddeningly — who we are. "

― Meghan Daum , The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion

5 " In the history of the world, a whole story has never been told. "

― Meghan Daum , The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion

6 " For so long, maybe all my life, I thought only a house could make you whole. I thought I was nothing without an interesting address. I thought I was only as good as my color scheme, my drawer pulls, my floors....it's the knowledge that a house can be as fragile as life itself. You'd think it would be stronger, since it can stand in one spot for centuries while generations of humans run through its rooms, grow up, move out, and eventually die. But a house is an inherently limited entity. It can't do everything, or even most things. It cannot give you a personality. It cannot bring you love. It cannot cure loneliness. It can provide comfort, safety, a sense of pride--that much I know. "

― Meghan Daum , Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived in That House

7 " For so long, maybe all my life, I thought only a house could make you whole. I thought I was nothing without an interesting address. I thought I was only as good as my color scheme, my drawer pulls, my floors....it's the knowledge that a house can be as fragile as life itself. You'd think it would be stronger, since it can stand in one spot for centuries while generations of humans run through tis rooms, grow up, move out, and eventually die. But a house is an inherently limited entity. It can't do everything, or even most things. I t cannot give you a personality. It cannot bring you love. It cannot cure loneliness. It can provide comfort, safety, a sense of pride--that much I know. "

― Meghan Daum

8 " ... I somehow got the idea that oak floors were located exclusively in New York City. This came chiefly from watching Woody Allen movies. I wanted to live someplace that looked like Mia Farrow's apartment in 'Hannah and Her Sisters' (little did I know that it was Mia Farrow's apartment). To me, this kind of space did not connote wealth. These were places where paint was peeling and the rugs were frayed, places where smart people sat around drinking gin and tonics, having interesting conversations, and living, according to my logic, in an authentic way. "

― Meghan Daum

9 " At some point in my early forties I realized that my primary goal in just about any verbal exchange is to lighten the mood. "

― Meghan Daum

10 " No matter where they are or who they’re with, dogs are incapable of being anything but themselves. Show me a dog that puts on airs or laughs politely at an unfunny joke and I’ll show you a human in a dog costume, possibly one owned and licensed by the Walt Disney Company. "

― Meghan Daum , The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion

11 " That there could be something in the world that a woman could want more than children has been viewed as unacceptable. Things may be marginally different now, but, even if there is something she wants more than children, that is no reason for a woman to remain childless. Any normal woman, it is understood, wants—and should want—both. "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

12 " There is nothing more boring for an intelligent woman than to spend endless amounts of time with small children. (quoting Doris Lessing) "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

13 " People realize that a life that had seemed enjoyable (travel, social life, romance) and fulfilling (work) was actually empty and meaningless. So they urge you to join the child-rearing party: they want you to share the riches, the pleasures, the joys. Or so they claim. I suspect that hey just want to share and spread the misery. (The knowledge that someone is at liberty or has escaped makes the pain of incarceration doubly hard to bear). Of all the arguments for having children, the suggestion that it gives life 'meaning' is the one to which I am most hostile--apart from all the others" (201). "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

14 " The perfect life, the perfect lie … is one which prevents you from doing that which you would ideally have done (painted, say, or written unpublishable poetry) but which, in fact, you have no wish to do. People need to feel that they have been thwarted by circumstances from pursuing the life which, had they led it, they would not have wanted; whereas the life they really want is precisely a compound of all those thwarting circumstances. It is a very elaborate, extremely simple procedure, arranging this web of self-deceit: contriving to convince yourself that you were prevented from doing what you wanted. Most people don’t want what they want: people want to be prevented, restricted. The hamster not only loves his cage, he’d be lost without it. That’s why children are so convenient: you have children because you’re struggling to get by as an artist—which is actually what being an artist means—or failing to get on with your career. Then you can persuade yourself that your children prevented you from having this career that had never looked like working out. So it goes on: things are always forsaken in the name of an obligation to someone else, never as a failing, a falling short of yourself. "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

15 " Analyzing data from 79 men and women who wore inconspicuous devices that recorded some of their conversations over the course of four days, researchers from Washington University and the University of Arizona found a correlation between feelings of well-being and the amount of time spent talking every day. Moreover, the more substantive your conversations, the happier you're likely to be. In other words, heart-to-hearts trump small talk. (LA Times, "A lof of happy talk", March 11, 2010, A21.) "

― Meghan Daum

16 " I can tell you that the comfort zone has many upsides. It may be associated with sloth and cowardice and any number of paralyzing, irrational phobias. It may be a dark abyss where misunderstood people lie around in fading recliners listening to outdated music. But I’m convinced that, when handled responsibly, the comfort zone can be as useful and productive as a well-oiled industrial zone. I am convinced that excellence comes not from overcoming limitations but from embracing them. At least that’s what I’d say if I were delivering a TED Talk. I’d never say such a douchy thing in private conversation. "

― Meghan Daum , The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion

17 " I will never regret not having children. What I regret is that I live in a world where in spite of everything, that decision is still not quite okay. "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

18 " What if I didn’t want to have babies because I loved my job too much to compromise it, or because serious travel makes me feel in relation to the world in an utterly essential way? What if I’ve always liked the looks of my own life much better than those of the ones I saw around me? What if, given the option, I would prefer to accept an assignment to go trekking for a month in the kingdom of Bhutan than spend that same month folding onesies? What if I simply like dogs a whole lot better than babies? What if I have become sure that personal freedom is the thing I hold most dear? "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

19 " When you look into your baby’s eyes,” my friend Sarah once said to me, “that will become your Tibet.” I have no doubt that looking into one’s own baby’s eyes is many inexpressibly wonderful things, but one thing it is not is Tibet. "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

20 " Nobody gets to have it all, not even Donald Trump. You will have one thing or another depending on what choice you make. Or you will have both things in limited amounts, and that might turn out to be perfect, just exactly the life you want. "

― Meghan Daum , Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids