Home > Author > Fran Lebowitz
121 " Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke. "
― Fran Lebowitz , The Fran Lebowitz Reader
122 " Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. "
123 " Being on the short side and no spring chicken to boot, I shall refrain in perpetuity from anything even roughly akin to leather jodhpurs. "
124 " All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. "
125 " Pocket calculators encourage children to think that they have all the answers. If this belief were actually to take hold they might well seize power, which would undoubtedly result in all of the furniture being much too small. "
126 " Kitchens are not suitable places in which to install wall-to-wall carpeting, no matter how industrial, how highly technical, how very dark gray. I realize this now. "
127 " When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame. "
128 " Children do not sit next to one in restaurants and discuss their preposterous hopes for the future in loud tones of voice. "
129 " Children give life to the concept of immaturity "
130 " If you’re going to do something, do it halfway. Business is business. "
131 " Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. "
132 " Children respond inadequately to sardonic humor and veiled threats. "
133 " find that a good way to break the ice with people is to ask them where they … Buy their vegetables. Shop for appliances. Get their pictures developed. Winter. "
134 " Although I made every effort to stay out of her way, she was forever following me from room to room brandishing dangerous-looking household appliances and looking at me contemptuously in Portuguese "
135 " Children do not look well in evening clothes. "
136 " On a lazy Sunday afternoon I most enjoy … Cooking. Experimenting with makeup. Going to a museum. Just lounging around the house. Exiling people. "
137 " Some of my best friends are … Jewish. Negro. Puerto Rican. Unaware of my existence. "
138 " If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word “collectible” as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. "
139 " Children ask better questions than do adults. “May I have a cookie?” “Why is the sky blue?” and “What does a cow say?” are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than “Where’s your manuscript?” “Why haven’t you called?” and “Who’s your lawyer? "
140 " On a date I most enjoy … An art film. Bowling. Dinner and the theater. Ruling. "