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41 " Our trip has cost Adam Eget his apartment and his job. But it will all soon be over and he’ll be a ranch hand in Montana, and the head ranch hand too. I haven’t told him yet, but I plan on buying him a hat. A cowboy hat. "
― Norm Macdonald , Based on a True Story
42 " everywhere, and "
43 " I cannot find Norm’s essence. It is a problem I’ve never encountered as a ghost, and I need to truly become him to finish the book. It has always been my great gift, the ability to find a person’s essence. But Norm evades me. It must be because I hate him with such intensity. "
44 " All former shoeshine boys tell fictitious tales and resort to petty thievery. "
― Norm Macdonald , Ridiculous
45 " Well, you’d think he was a generous hatter and I was the tallest man in the whole wide world, the way he gave me the high hat that day. I "
46 " I will say this about the young boy in the tiny white coffin. Despite the doctor’s dire predictions, the boy was too tough, resolute, and courageous to let something as small as a deadly disease defeat him. No, the boy was made of stronger stuff than that and it took much more to defeat him. It took a three-ton municipal bus moving at forty miles per hour and driven by one Cecil Richard Anderson to defeat this boy.” I heard the deepest of sobs and looked down to see a man wearing some sort of bus driver’s uniform being held up by two women. "
47 " I drank a handle of bourbon that night, alone and in glory. "
48 " Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage "
49 " People were beginning to talk about me, and that’s always good news. As Adolf Hitler once said, all publicity is good publicity. "
50 " Norm, I’m gonna be straight with you, because I’ve been in this business a long time. If the star of a movie has a personal assistant who, during the production of that movie, butchers over a dozen teenagers, that’s gonna hurt at the box office. "
