Home > Author > Sophia Dembling
21 " Introverts are actually a lot like Clark Kent-- mild and unassuming much of the time, but able to swoop in and turn on our Supercharm when we choose. "
― Sophia Dembling , The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
22 " Just because you want to join the party does not mean you are required to stay until the last drunk passes out. "
― Sophia Dembling
23 " One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You're bored. You're depressed. You're shy. You're stuck up. You're judgmental . When others can't read us, they write their own story-not always one we choose or that's true to who we are. "
24 " In one study, researchers used an iPhone app to check in on people at random points throughout the day and found that the more people were thinking about something other than what they were doing, the less happy they felt. Even when they weren’t thinking about anything particularly bad. "
25 " One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretations: You're bored. You're depressed. You're shy. You're stuck-up. You're judgemental. You have nothing to say. "
26 " Brando said he'd noticed that powerful people spoke quietly, and Don Corleone's quiet calm and nearly inaudible speaking voice are key to the character. When Corleone speaks, you have to be quiet to hear him. What can we learn from Don Corleone (that doesn't involve killing people)? That quiet does have its own power, if we harness it. "
27 " We know what it feels like to have our energy drained by too much interaction. It feels like my brain is tired, almost like a muscle would be tired. The more depleted my psychic energy is, the slower my thoughts come, the harder it is to speak full sentences or focus on what's going on around me. My senses become even more sensitive; noise and fuss are more overwhelming. And I become tense, irritated, cranky. That's when I know I need to stop, sit down, let my brain relax and put up its metaphorical feet. "
28 " Not only has volume been ratcheted up but expectations have, too. Quiet success--painting a picture, writing a poem, writing an algorithm--is all well and good, but if you haven't become famous doing it, then did it really matter? "
29 " One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are. "
30 " The best job for an introvert is the job that calls you. "
31 " Small talk is the WD-40 of society. It has a purpose, perhaps many purposes. A few niceties with a sales clerk, a little joshing with your dentist’s receptionist, some light get-to-know-ya banter with a stranger at a party—it keeps the gears of society cranking smoothly, makes the world feel friendly, and protects our social muscles from atrophy. "
32 " One reason listening can be exhausting for introverts is that we pay attention. We listen hard. Words enter our ears and then go straight to our busy, whirring brains to be processed, considered, and analyzed. "
33 " One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretations: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck-up. You’re judgmental. You have nothing to say. "
34 " Every introvert alive knows the exquisite pleasure of stepping from the clamor of a party into the bathroom and closing the door. "
35 " If you are rejected by someone who doesn’t really know you, then you are not being rejected for who you are. You are only being rejected for who that person thinks you are. "
― Sophia Dembling , Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After
36 " Many ultra-sensitive introverts have little mood radars constantly circulating, looking for cues and clues to others’ state of mind. When we pick something up, it goes into our brains to be cranked around and around and around as we try to extract whatever relevant meaning it might hold for us and the state of our relationship. As well as being absolutely exhausting, this can be counterproductive. Even the most sensitive people tend to be pretty bad at mind reading (as in, really terrible at mind reading—as in, can’t mind read at all, it’s impossible, forget about it), and all that thinking and guessing and ruminating—because that’s what it is—doesn’t do a relationship any good. "
37 " The reality is that you are not competing with extroverts for attention. Extroverts and introverts are apples and oranges. Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow. Extroverts are fireworks, introverts are a fire in the hearth. Extroverts attract people who like razzle-dazzle, introverts attract people who want to bask in your warmth. "