Akemi Dawn Bowman QUOTES

121 " Y decido, ahí mismo, que no me importa si no respondo al canon de belleza de alguien. No me importa si mi nombre puede decepcionar a alguien o si mi rostro puede decepcionar a los padres de alguien. Por que eso dice mucho mas sobre ellos que sobre mi. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

123 " No soy muy buena para hablar con la gente, punto.
Y, de todos modos, lo que necesito no es un amigo. No en este momento, cuando prefiero pintar a intentar encajar con los demás. Necesito una mamá que no me mire como si fuera un mueble usado que no combina con el estilo de la casa. Necesito empezar de nuevo. Necesito una vida de verdad. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

125 " La belleza no es uniforme. La belleza es soñar, es distinta para cada persona, y hay tantas versiones que prácticamente no tienes control de como la ves. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

127 " Thiis is Dexter Graham from the admissions office at Prism Art School. How are you doing today?”

Oh my God. “I’m God. I mean, good. I’m good. How are you? "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

129 " Can I ask you something?" Jamie reaches his hand across his chest and scratches his neck. When I nod, he asks, "What do you see when you look at pictures of yourself?"

I swallow. Someone who looks too Asian to be pretty. Because being Asian means I can never be as pretty as the other girls at school—the girls like Mom. I know this because people like Henry and Adam and Mom keep telling me I don't have the right face. I know this because when I look in the mirror, I see what they see—a girl who doesn't belong here. A girl who isn't good enough.

But I can't tell him that—he wouldn't understand.

"Okay. Well, what do you wish you saw?" He tries again when I remain quiet for so long.

Someone with bigger eyes. Lighter hair. A smaller nose. "Someone who looks more like everyone else," I say at last.

Jamie runs his thumbs over the edge of his camera. "Do you know how many people would love to have your face? Yeah, you don't look like everyone else in town, but that's special. You stand out because you're unique, and people literally never stop trying to be unique."

I twist my mouth. "But I don't want to stand out—not at all. I want to be normal. I want to feel like I belong in the same world as everyone else." If I looked like everyone else, it would probably be easier to make friends. I might even have a mom who cared.

That last part really stings.

"You might feel that way now, but it isn't like that forever. Wait until you see what the world has to offer besides that small town and your high school. People are different out there. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

131 " It’s strange — hope can make you forget so much, so quickly. That’s why hoping is so dangerous. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

133 " Lauren Finch is pretty. Not just because she has good skin and the right clothes. She has the right everything. She's universally appealing. Her nose is tiny, her eyebrows are close to her eyes, and everything about her is bright and brilliant, like someone turned up the highlights on her real-life filter.

She doesn't have to wonder if guys like her because of her race. Nobody will tell her she's "pretty, for a white girl." She's just pretty, period.

I don't stand a chance.

Because I will never be bright and brilliant like Lauren. I have pale skin and dark hair, and my eyes are too small. She's colors and candy; I'm pencils and smudges. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

135 " Time is funny like that. When you’re content, it goes by in a blink. But when you’re unsettled? In those moments, time feels eternal. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Harley in the Sky

137 " Why do you find it so hard to believe that guys might find you attractive?" she asks seriously. "You are, Kiko. You're exotic-looking. People love that."

The word makes me wince. Exotic. Like Princess Jasmine. It's how Adam sees me. It's probably how everyone sees me. Like I don't belong.

"I don't want someone to like me because I'm 'exotic'" I say. "It makes it sound like I'm an acquired taste, or something someone tries once in a while."

"It doesn't mean anything bad. It just means you're different," she says.

"Exactly," I say.

She narrows her hazel eyes. "Are you trying to tell me you'd rather be mashed potatoes than crème brûlée?"

"I'm saying I don't want to be the thing that people like once in a while, or because they think it's unique or exotic." I don't want to be kissed by someone who is ashamed about it later because I don't have blue eyes and blond hair and I might disappoint their parents. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Starfish

139 " I'm American, but that only explains my passport. It doesn't explain all the other pieces of me that aren't easily labeled.
Sometimes it feels like if I call myself American, people will only ever follow up with, "But what are you really?"
But if I lead the conversation? If I tell them everything I am? If I point out all the pieces of my heritage to explain why I have my name, and my face, and my culture? Then people tell me I don't get to be all these other things--I only get to be American. Like the rest of me is suddenly erased. Like my heritage isn't important. Like all the pieces that should mean something don't mean anything at all.
And in all honesty, I'm really tired of people thinking they have any authority whatsoever on what I'm allowed to call myself. "

― Akemi Dawn Bowman , Harley in the Sky