Home > Work > Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind
1 " When kids stay up late, their stress hormones like cortisol kick in, which makes it harder to fall asleep,” wrote Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting. “The problem is that cortisol stays in the system and makes them edgy the next day; it also contributes to depression, anxiety, and weight gain. The famous moodiness of teenagers is partly attributable to late bedtimes, which have become standard practice in our culture. Just because your toddler gains the ability to keep himself awake doesn’t mean you’d let him stay up half the night. Just because your tween and teen gain the ability to keep themselves up doesn’t mean it isn’t bad for them. "
― Tricia Goyer , Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind
2 " I hated feelings of insufficiency, and I ached with the knowledge that daily I was sacrificing—my time, my work, my friendships, and my personal ease—only to see no good result. Even worse, it seemed the more love I poured out, the more I was ignored. "
3 " Children often get angry when they face situations they can’t control. "
4 " Trauma-triggered anger usually manifests itself in one of three ways: fight, flight, or freeze. "
5 " When we sense danger, we will instinctively react with a fight, flight, or freeze response. Not a lot of thought goes into this response. The body just naturally does its thing. "
6 " Sometimes mad means sad. It can also mean anxious, afraid, overwhelmed, or any of a variety of emotions. "
7 " Kids who are oppositional or acting out in angry and aggressive ways often can’t explain how they’re feeling. They are overwhelmed, yet the only emotion they know how to communicate is anger. "
8 " Too often we parents make assumptions about our children’s actions and motives. We lecture instead of listening. We always have an answer, instead of stopping to listen.2 "
9 " Kids don’t know how to handle frustration and disappointment, so they just get mad. And it doesn’t help when we tell our kids to just calm down and have a better attitude. "
10 " Let your children know that if they have anything to tell you about something that has happened, you will always believe them. Fear that they won’t be believed or uncertainty over what to say or how to talk about what’s happening keeps many kids silent. Let your children know you will listen, care, and act.7 "
11 " Many children also get angry when they are overstimulated because of sensory processing issues. These kids have trouble processing the information they receive through their senses from the world around them. "
12 " If your child is oversensitive, or undersensitive, to stimulation, things like ‘scratchy’ clothes and too much light or noise can make her uncomfortable, anxious, distracted, or overwhelmed. That can lead to meltdowns for no reason that’s apparent to you or other caregivers.”1 A "
