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1 " But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they’re not so funny anymore. "
― Jonathan Dunne , Lighthouse Jive
2 " Lately, their love had been reduced to yellow emojis. "
3 " Why can't people just be happy and live? "
4 " So how do you know she was a mermaid if you didn’t see her bottom half? "
5 " Gonzo, the enlightened hippy-biker island god, was a hermit in every sense of the word; a hermit crab and this island was his shell. "
6 " Opposites attract, mom.’‘Yes, but in your case, darling, it is hydrogen and oxygen, and we all know what happened the Hindenberg.’ Just in case their daughter wasn’t aware of the ill-fated zeppelin, Lambert clarified: ‘This too will end in flames. "
7 " Earth is such a sweet ‘n sour place, thought Gonzo, puffing on his seaweed roll-up, and he knew that if aliens did exist, then they’d probably only stop to avail of this planet’s toilet facilities on the intergalactic highway. "
8 " Theo, she’s a living twenty-four-seven hormone production plant. The conveyor belts keep delivering more oestrogen n’ all kinds of female knicks ‘n knacks and bits ‘n bobs in all their knickerbocker glory. She’s got nowhere to put it all, Theo, but the conveyor belts keep on comin’, keep on a-chuggin’ – even on Christmas Day… and we all remember last Christmas Day, right? "
9 " The closest Apollo had ever come to expressing an interest in the opposite sex was the door signs of public bathrooms. "